in my head a rhythm rings
in my heart a small voice sings

driving me on each day
drawing me closer to the upward call

my body feels weak
frustrated with the little hours of sleep
often i find myself consumed by fatigue

nevertheless the spirit reigns over the flesh
overcoming the lethargy
taking control over uncontrollable emotions

Victory prevails

_______________________________________


Been really stretched and overstretched and toostretched and stretched.

I need more time... more time with my friends, more time with my family, more time for myself, more time more more more....

Many of us who are stretched often wished we had more than 24 hours. In fact, some even feel unjust for the lack of time and the numerous tasks at hand. Years ago, my senior pastor actually commented that "24 hours was not enough" for him to a foreign pastor. As a pastor and founder of a church, it was understandable he would say that because he not just had to handle the pioneering work(aka "Sai Gahng"), he also had to preach, to disciple, to shepherd the many many members in the church.
At the point when he mentioned "24 hours was not enough" to a foreign pastor, he got rebuked!
The foreign pastor said something like, "God is fair, He gave everybody 24 hours. If 24 hours is not enough, it means you don't know how to manage your time!"

When I heard this story, I felt convicted. As much as I wished there were more than 24 hours a day, I also know that I had to manage my time better.

Yup.. I need to manage my time well, so that in the midst of drumming practices and perfomances, I would not neglect my studies. And in the midst of drumming and academic work, I would continue to build and maintain relationships with friends and family members.

TIME MANAGEMENT

The hay fever's making me irritatable..I woke up, struggling in my head whether to sleep in and skip web design
or to go web design and skip afternoon's colour and composition, so that I can return to recover from the terrible mind-nose-eyes-lungs-wrenching sickness.
I decided to go for morning class and hopefully recover by afternoon, so that I would not miss any class.
I jumped out of bed, crossing my fingers.
I dilly-dalied to pack my huge bagpack, took my files, wallet, water bottle, A3 drawing block.
After my refreshing bath, it was 20 mins to class time.
In my gancheongness, I broke my adidas eau de toilette.
the blue liquid splattered the floor, my heart pinched as i held the broken glass
Was getting really late for school, I had to take a cab

During the 3-hour web design tutorial, I was sneezing half the time.
BLAH BLAH. I decided I would skip afternoon class.

I brought my huge drawing block and paint brushes for nothing.
So, I walked to the bus stop to go home.. and i realised I didn't bring my ez link card, i CABBED again


and then i went home.. rested.. and now I'm feeling better.


So What's the point of this story?


Somebody buy me a new bottle of perfume!!


HAHAHAHAHAH

war in the skies

Somewhere beneath the clouds
Beyond the furthest skies visible to the naked eye

the angels are at war

with crafty eyes, the devil sneaks
with fancy footwork, he confuses the angelic beings
he attacks secretly, yet in the open

despite the outrage and afflictions
dignity remains

the skirmish perseveres
our prayers perservere

maybe

maybe i will grow up
maybe i won't

maybe you will fall in love with me
maybe my heart will grow cold when you do

maybe i will become an artist
maybe i can be a pastor
maybe i will own businesses
maybe i will end up an office girl

someday i might get married
someday i might be with the man of my dreams
then again, that happens in the movies
i guess, for now it's ok to dream

maybe i will get to travel around the world
maybe i will enjoy romance in France
maybe i will get adventurous in Egypt
maybe KL and Batam is all i will get

maybe i will fall in puppy love many times
each time with someone new

even then, i might not be able to forget you

maybe i will become a songwriter
maybe i will be an author of many books
maybe my works will appreciated by thousands
maybe i will simply continue to blog

maybe someday i will not like rock music anymore
maybe my kids will think i am so old-fashioned
then again right now, i just wanna listen to my emocore

maybe i will have to accept the fact
that time and tide waits for no man
maybe i will have to accept the fact
that maturity comes with the acceptance of responsibilities

maybe i can believe
that all my dreams can become reality
maybe i can achieve
the highest potential ever, within me

day by day i grow up
i grow up




----------------------------

Felt like writing, and i started. and then this came out. This is inspired by something i heard on the radio a few weeks ago.

random. Love, share, give

Hung out with Nessa Esther and Nat after school on Fri. We were dead tired after school, didn't do much but it was fun. Cam-whoring at WhiteSands Mac, ChaiChee porridge at blk 85 market, jamming at my house after that. Quality time.














One of my favourite people on earth! My first friend in CMM. Hit it off immediately. She taught me how to show love freely, to sing like you're singing to the world, that it is ok to give a piece (or many pieces) of my heart to a person even if it means ending up scarred. I LOVE VANESSA.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Since I don't have time to pour out my thoughts..

I'll just make this short.

A few quotes from other blogs I chanced upon:

I remember the first day I met Boon, my drum leader, he said, "You are not good until your neighbour as good as yourself."
Reading this from a fellow musician friend just reminded me to be less complacent:

"well if the guitarist sucks, well then pull him up, bring him up to another level!
So, remember, if you're talented, and good at wat you do, but you cant make your fellow drummer, or bassist or keyboardist or guitarist or wat not as good as yourself, then really, you are only good for yourself :) Just dat, nothing else. And so the question is, how good can dat be really?"

Just a few days back, I was really inspired at how my friend was going the extra mile for the guy she likes, even knowing that it might not be reciprocated the same way. When I read the following from another musician friend's blog, it hit me:

"
It is about going the extra mile, doing things that are not "you", being frank and funny, and it doesn't matter if the person reads it as love or not. Love is a gesture and something that I learnt from the most perfect person on the earth."

so what's the conclusion? Musicians are not just EMOtional but we think ok, we think think think alot. Our brains move. hahah crappy.

ok the point is, we are all living on the same earth, living to make each others' lives better. As iron sharpens iron, we learn from each other, eventually making the world a better place. hahaha THE POINT IS,

Live, not just for yourself. Love, and be free.

STUCKITITIS

I struggled, this morning.

I wondered, what it would be like to carry on the day, when it started badly.

I needed, some form of encouragement.

I opened, this book

Before my eyes, the words I read shocked me.

"Chapter 2: LOVING THE PEOPLE YOU ARE STUCK WITH - a forgiving heart"


I couldn't believe it.
I was just having an overheated discussion with my mom.
Helpless, hopeless after that

The past haunted me
A stumbling block
I stumbled over and over again


When I opened the book, I knew God was here
In the midst of the argument, when I forgot His presence


I'm suffering from STUCKITITIS
my definition: this is a condition which one is feeling frustrated because he/she is stuck in a relationship which he/she has no choice but to stay in it, and has to accept and love the other party no matter what
This applies to the following situations:

The desperate housewife and her non-communicator husband
The burnt-out husband and his non-understanding nagging wife
The flustered mom and her rebellious kid
The depressed kid and his even more depressed mom
The excited kid who has lost interest in his pet


The book says:
"SUCH ARE THE QUESTIONS WE ASK WHEN WE FEEL STUCK WITH SOMEONE. THERE IS A WORD FOR THIS CONDITION. UPON CONSULTING THE ONE-WORD MEDICAL DICTIONARY (WHICH I WROTE THE DAY BEFORE I CRAFTED THIS CHAPTER), I DISCOVERED THAT THIS CONDITION IS A COMMON MALADY KNOWN AS STUCKITITIS. (STUCK MEANING “TRAPPED.” ITITIS BEING THE SIX LETTERS YOU TAG ON TO ANY WORD YOU WANT TO SOUND IMPRESSIVE. READ IT OUT LOUD: STUCKITITIS.) MAX’S MANUAL OF MEDICAL TERMS HAS THIS TO SAY ABOUT THE CONDITION:

Attacks of stuckititis are limited to people who breathe and typically occur somewhere between birth and death. Stuckititis manifests itself in irritability, short fuses, and a mountain range of molehills. The common symptom of stuckititis victims is the repetition of questions beginning with who, what, and why. Who is this person? What was I thinking?
Why didn’t I listen to my mother?"

There are 3 ways to cope with STUCKITITIS:

FLEE
FIGHT
or
FORGIVE


Because I wasn't given the chance to, I couldn't flee.
I fought. and fought. and fought.
I thought I forgave.
But I was fighting to forgive.

I'm stuck, but with His grace I can overcome this.

Just like the way Jesus loved us,
even though we are filthy irritating childish naughty

His mercy has taught us to forgive.



read the entire chapter of the book mentioned here.

Screamo

who says listening to screamo makes me depressed?

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. EPH 6:12

actually it does get me depressed, but it's about the right selection.
Underoath is one of my all time favourites - try it, u MIGHT like it. (not for the faint hearted)

he'll never know

She'll never forget how his eyes sparkled in the dark
That very moment that melted her heart

Getting close to him was what she yearned
The days they didn't meet simply made her heart sick

his humour has influenced her
his words have become a part of her
being beside him, that's where she longs to be

Days and months went past
she could only wish for the good times to last

"the worst way to miss a person is to be beside a person, yet knowing you can't have the person",
her bestie once said to her
which, sad to say, in her case, this would be

he'll never know how excited she was everytime they meet
he'll never know that she remembers everything he said
he'll never know how much he has brightened her life

he'll never know how she cries herself to sleep
he'll never know that he has changed her life


he'll never know.
he'll never know.


----------------------------------------------------

this is really a stupid poem.
hahaha but ya.


ANYWAY I'm really HAPPY cos I just set up a keyboard in my jamming room!!!

Keyboard and drumssss.. I started playing on the keyboard today, It was so fun..

Anybody wants to jam?

I got guitar too... but not electric haha..

WEEE~

When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.

No storm can put out this fire

All of us were really in the same flow at last night's CGM.

The few of us who shared testimony - it was all about how God placed His purpose in our lives
Little did we know, the sermon for this week was "Building a life of Purpose"!


On Jimmy's closing for the message, he said that Passion can influence others.
He also mentioned this quote:

"When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn. " John Wesley

Wow.

SERIOUSLY, I never considered myself passionate about drumming until recently, when my boss at Shell introduced me as "passionate about drumming" to some externals we were meeting.

And this leads me to how astounded I am, when I look back upon my six months at Shell.

I've been saying this...but I can't help but say it again.

This past six months has been the toughest, albeit the best time of my life.

I remember when this internship started, I was so depressed. I couldn't find a purpose. And I couldn't stop counting down, the more I counted, the more depressed I got.
I was also very tired due to the long weekend trainings for National Day, on top of that, frequent late night practices for corporate gigs. I had little rest.

However, this has also been the best period of my life, because everything that I lived upon was based on faith.


Getting permission to leave work early for rehearsals/gigs
Getting permission to take one week break for KL Emerge Conference
Getting permission from my mom to go KL (despite her initial threats and anger, I believed something happened when she told me to "be careful when you go KL")
Having financial provision for the KL trip
Having His joy and strength at work despite lack of sleep
Having His creativity and positivity to take on the roles I never thought I could at Shell
Having His anointing and skill to play various roles which I thought I couldn't when performing with Strikeforce


It is simply amazing.

I thank Him for the favour He has placed in my life, the favour from my boss and colleagues.
I thank Him because though I have been stretched, He has also used me to impact hundreds and thousands of people through the performances He has sent me to.


All glory to the Lord!

No storm can put out this fire

It's Friday the 13th.
I lost my one and a half month old wallet.
I'm sad. It's a new Roxy wallet I bought from KL.

I have to move on, oh well.

I was so bothered.. Loss results in loss of hope.
It hinders your motivation in moving forward.

Losing my wallet means I cannot go ahead with my plans normally
Distracting me from doing my report
Having to set aside all other tasks to report loss to the various authorities

My head was brimming with negative thoughts and questions
My heart was searching for the reasons - "How did this happen?" "Why did God allow this to happen?" "I should have withheld myself from hanging out last night when there were second thoughts in the first place." "Shitty me, so careless."
"This is just an act of the devil to distract me from moving on."

I was struggling inside.
How could I still praise God in this situation? (The tune "Praise You in the Storm by Casting Crowns played in my head.)
I can't find a reason to..

Opening my bible, Romans 5:3-5 (NLT) read:
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

I was bowled over when I read this.

Yes, nothing should bring me down. This happened because of my carelessness, but it is ok, I'll just move on, and be more careful.

Romans 8:26 (NLT)
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weaknesses.."

I have to remain vigilant.

1 Oct 2006 - A wonderful day

Those pics were taken at Mediacorp last Sunday. We were there as guest performers for Channel 8's "It's Showtime!", which was hosted by Zhong Qing and Guo Liang. While we were backstage, Zhong Qing walked past and I asked Neo, "You remember her?"

He went, "Yeah of course! Fang tian.." I was like, "Huh, who's fang tian?"

Then I realised he was referring to 'fang4 dian4' (to give electricity) in Chinese.

I was so tickled, because Neo, being South African, didn't remember Kym Ng as Kym Ng, but as the celebrity who 'fang dian'..

What happened was, some months ago, we were performing for the NTUC Union May Day Dinner and Kym Ng was the compere.
While we were having our long break, the group of us immediately chorused "Fang Dian!" to Robin when Kym Ng walked past.
Kym Ng responded to our attempt to jisiao Robin. She turned her neck around and battered her eyelids at us. I swear, at that moment, even I was charmed by her sparkly eyes.

Anyway, the gig was a great experience for me.
I thank God for the chance to try so many new things, from the rack, to crosshands etc. The last time I did those two, I screwed up real bad. And I told myself I wanted to be ready for rack and crosshand the next time we perform, but I never knew it would be so soon! But thank God for the anointing for this performance (and many more to come!)

We had a powerful service last Sunday as well.
Even before preaching started, during worship, tears were just flooding my face. (Thank God I didn't put makeup that day)
As we sang, the Lord renewed me with his strength, affirmed me with His words. It was like Him telling me that He has seen my hard work, that He is pleased because I have given Him my youth and laid down my life for Him. I was so touched, because I've been so stretched especially this internship period. The tears just couldn't stop flowing..

The past six months has really been the toughest yet best time of my life..
Shall talk more about this in my next post...

the pain opened my eyes

Incident on 23 Sep 06, ard 230am.

It's been a long day, a long week
I stretched my body, snuggled warm in bed
time for rest, i fell, to appease my lethargy
as I barely caught that forty winks
a sharp pain came from inside of me
Sullen, I scrambled to the WC

A false alarm for diarrhoea it turned out
I barged back to my blankets half drowsy half grumpy
To my exasperation, the pain would not cease

In the midst of it, it appears a creepy crawlie got me
I itched and twitched and couldn't stop scratching
To the WC again, I washed the itch
Now the pain was gone, but the itch wouldn't cease!

Infuriated, I took a deep breath
I found my breath accompanied with an asthmatic wheeze
My nostrils were congested
My ears were burning
My heart raced

I paced calmly to the mirror
Propagating around my eyes were rashes resembling insect bites

I looked at my arms and legs
The outbreak of rashes was all over me

I need the doctor
I need prayers
I need to cry
I need GOD!!!!!

I prayed, without a voice, just wheezes

"Was I going to die?"
"Is it a terminal disease?"
"Is this the end of the many things I have to do?"
"How am I going to turn up for the photoshoot tomorrow?"
"Does this mean I can't go back to work on Monday?"
"Does this mean I can't perform?"

ARGH.

I called my leader at 240am
He answered, in a drowsy fashion
He prayed for me and asked me to wake my parents.

I did.

To CGH I went.
2 jabs was what they gave me
I slept, while my mother stayed awake
After a 2 hour nap, I was awakened by the freezing coldness

the rash was gone
the asthmatic wheeze was gone
the burning sensation was gone
the pain was gone

the nurse, without a wink said,
"Miracle ah. Ok can go home."

I couldn't wait to get home.


The question remains
What resulted in this crazy episode
Which got me annoyed and fearful
Which made me learn to be more careful
Which taught me to love the people around me,
for God has made them so wonderful

_______________________________________________________________

This was what happened to me.
I was freaked out like nothing.
I wanna thank Jimmy for answering my call and praying for me though he was asleep, thank Jennifer for calming me down, thank my mom for going to the hospital with me. AND my Strikeforce friends who visited me!

I was so touched and shocked to see you guys --
Shona, Benedict, Reid, Ian, Sharlyn, Jennifer, Suat, Alvin, Kangwei, Queelam..!
I hope I didn't miss out anybody.

It was quite saddening I couldn't make it for the photoshoot, but nonetheless, it warms my heart to be in this family.

We're not just a percussion group
We're not just ministry mates
We're not just a bunch of people with similar interests
We're committed to a common vision
Bound together by the love of Christ
Working towards a higher calling
We're one family
One Band
One Sound
StrikeForce

Reset

I must Realign my life
Renew my mind
Stop Recycling futile thoughts
Stop Rehearsing abandoned hurts

The Lord has Redeemed me
Removed all sin and condemnation

my spirit was dead, but now Resurrected
He breathed into me, Restored my life
I'm now Reconciliated with Christ

Regression dies, as I live upon His word
I entrust myself to His work of Regeneration
Together we'll bring forth Revolution

Bee the best you can Bee

Watched Akeelah and the Bee today with my cell. Motivating movie.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Though I was already impacted when I read this statement before in Ian's blog some months ago, it did not make me feel I have to do something about it until now. I've been busy... so busy that I've become complacent. I've stopped thinking about achieving the best, most of the time getting by the numerous activities each day. Today, when I heard this statement on the movie again, there was a push from the Holy Spirit.

Why, why have I stepped back? Why have I not given my best? Is it because there is a fear that when you do so, people will look at you in a different way?

But truely, as the quote says, "Who are you not to be?"
We are to "walk worthily of God, who (has already called) you into his own Kingdom and glory" (1 Thess 2:12)

We strive, not so that we may get the approval of men, but we are living vessels for Him.
1 Thessalonians 2:4
"But even as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News, so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, who tests our hearts."

I remember Bro Boon once challenged us to be one who constantly gets the "Since when?" question from others.
"Since when you became such a great performer?"
"Since when you became so wise?"
"Since when you became so excellent in the things you do?"
"Since when you became a leader?"
"Since when..Since when?"

There is a need to constantly stretch our limits, to break into the realm of the "once-impossible".
There is a need to constantly renew our minds, in order to move from glory to glory.

Horacio Hernandez Drum Clinic

By the end of the drum clinic, I must say I was quite disappointed. Unlike the other clinics that I've been to, this one only had the star solo once. (if I didn't remember wrongly, A REAL SOLO solo that is)
Though it may be so, like what Bro Boon said, Horacio did more teaching than "showing off" at this clinic, which I appreciate so.
Kinda useful, incorporating playing of rhumba claves in 4/4 timing and 6/8 timing.
At the end of the show he started playing this instrument, which when he played, it almost appeared to be punching buttons on a SEGA gameboy.
This instrument was once a dear to the late Bob Marley and it produces high pitched melodious tones, perfect for lullabies. It was wonderful watching him and hearing him play that "M-Bira" (dont know how to spell), but I was expecting him to stomp away on the set after that. And it didn't happen. So the drum clinic ended like this, peacefully.......

Out at the signing table, he was super friendly.. a few of my friends even asked him to sign their equipment. For Remo, Vic-Firth etc, He actually cancelled off the branding and wrote on Evans and Zildjian. That was so funny, but he was kind enough to sign them.

This is the first time I didn't bring anything home from a clinic - no ticket stubs/photos/collaterals. Too crowded I guess.

Anyway I took photo with Ling outside DBS auditorium...We realised that our colors were really coordinated. haha..




Black and Purple. Ian just looks lame here.

this is niceeee, but we didn't know Ian and ruyuan were in the pic until later.. Benedict said:"ruyuan looks like a cardboard cutout... "


hahaha so funny...

a new beginning

my heart feels heavy
my eyes are stinging red
my mouth's open, but I don't know what to say
i don't wanna feel this way

stoned when i'm alone
wild when you're around
but it wouldn't make a difference soon
just let this be an open wound

I've fallen carelessly
my utmost wish, to present myself with entire honesty
i know the Lord's here to protect me
the past has gone, but this is indeed a new beginning.

Steve Irwin died

It happened around Aus time 11am today..
I salute his passion, boldness, courage, energy and everything that he ever was.

click to read story.

I fainted, but I was prepared for it

I fainted, the second time in my life.
The funny thing is, my mom didn't believe me when I told her I was going to faint.

After months of not touching my drumset, I found the opportunity to whack them again last night, since I was home early for once.

I played for about 15 mins when I got so fed up with the high-hat I decided to adjust it. To my frustration, I loosened the screw and the entire middle rod dropped into the stand, nowhere to be found. I held up the stand to get the rod out, when the careless me lost grip of the top cymbal, and "CHANG!" it crashed onto my little toe.

Immediately I looked down to check if my toe was still intact. Thank God, it didn't get cut off by the thin edges of the cymbal. I moved out from the drum throne.. and lo, blood was gushing out, dripping all over my mommy's previous marble white floor.

WAIT wait a minute. What has this gotta do with me fainting?

I limped briskly from the room, across the living room and kitchen to the toilet, blood dripping all over.

By the time I was in the toilet, my vision blurred.
It was like the first time I fainted.
Dark spots, blinding lights. I held onto the toilet door...

"Mom, is it lose too much blood, think I'm going to faint."
"No la..won't faint la.."

I prayed in my heart, "Lord, help me don't let me fall."

Slowly I lean against the door, sat down. And fainted.

And I woke up. Nobody knew. -_-"

But I'm feeling fine already... I keep laughing at myself, so accident prone.

At the same time, I know its the devil getting me distracted and careless, so that I will hurt myself and not be able to perform etc.
I find that time and time again, I've gotten myself into all these stupid accidents
and sometimes I feel really URGH.
But that is also a result of me not being alert.

I need to pray for protection, a sharp mind and better body control.

On a lighter note, this must be a sign... A sign to get new hardware or new drumset. Muahahaha.

_____________________________________________

5 more weeks to end of attachment

Weeeee~~~

Happy Birthday Meiqi....

It's just 15 mins before the Meiqi's birthday ends...




May the smile on your face shine continually... Happy Birthday!

Haha.. nice man this one. Was playing around the camera when i found them in their positions. This shot was almost candid, but eventually I had to ask them to pose for me.

NDP 06

WEE its over.... FINALLY...
It's been a great time - 4 months of training have paid off, as Strikeforce left behind a legacy in the history of National Day Parade... the last year that it is held at the National Stadium before it is gone...forever.

For the past years, I've never even bothered to watch NDP.. but this year's NDP, it will certainly stay with me for a long time.
Didnt take much pictures...

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j242/emodrummama/S5000380.jpg

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j242/emodrummama/S5000381.jpg

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j242/emodrummama/S5000387.jpg

la dee dumx.

Wee!

I just got my 13.3 inch MacBook! It is so pretty and I can't get my hand off it..

So here I am punching in the alphabets on the soft spongy keyboard.

Spent time with jiejie again..Shared about our lives with each other.
We prayed for each other and I was so touched by her prayer for me - it was so detailed and I could sense how much she loves me and the immense hope she holds for my future.

For all those who can, please persevere in prayer with us - I want my sister to be happy again, to lead a fruitful marriage life that overflows with the blessings of God.

ANYWAY, I shook President SR Nathan's hands today!
We were invited to the launch of the new Jurong Bird Park entrance(duh) and African Wetlands Bird and Buddies show - President Nathan was the GOH.

I was hopeful of taking a photo with him...but Mr Nathan was flocked by the media chirpers the moment he arrived.

Here are the shots I managed to take.











this sure looks like a paparazzi shot.







These guys - wow african drummers. they are holding some percussion instruments..The shakers, the bell...

Wait wait a minute
what's that?!? a plastic Bone?

I was rather excited, ready with the camera on "record" mode, the emcee announced that once the drums start the President will make his entrance. I stared intently, waiting for the emcee to announce the President's arrival. Finally. "Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together..." I pressed the "record" button. To my dismay, those african drummers did not do a ra-ra opening, nor did they perform - they basically shaked and clicked whatever they were holding in their hands. No doubt, those random actions produced a somewhat rhythm, but I was super sorry for the organisers who paid them the X amount of $$ to wear tribal costumes and to stand around.

To my utter disgust, I overheard somebody say they were actually African footballers. No wonder it appeared to me that when I saw their manager, I recognised him as a local soccer team manager. I thought that this guy had switched his job to managing artistes.
Don't be mistaken. I am not against the African race, because I have two really cool South African friends! I am against the fact that they pay footballers to pose as performers! Your audience is not stupid for goodness sake. It is true that Africans are always associated with rhythms and yes, music is in their blood. BUT STILL.. they were basically hired to model at the event, their presence (dressed with the costumes) added value to the photo opportunities.


Ah. I'm too critical.
I'm kinda like analysing the marketing efforts here. By the way, Robert Kwan from McDonald's now sits on the Jurong Bird Park board as Chairman. My supervisor told me that he is a demanding boss, and working under him would require me to work 20 times harder! And of course, the demands would be paid off by the eventual marketing success.

But back to the event - each VIP was given a goodie bag - a paperbag containing a postcard set, an exquisite handmade house(made with branches and scrapes of wood) and a cardboard fan. As a collector of postcards, I was delighted to find 14-pc postcard set in the bag. As I peeled off the plastic covering, my boss said, "those postcards don't even show anything educational."

I burst out laughing when I opened the cardboard flap of the postcard package:



AM i delighted to find my friends Vulcan the Vulture, Pedro the Pelican, Swanee the Swan & company!
....... I had to share the laugh with Ariel. Mascots are good, but 14 furry-human-sized-powerrangerbaddies-looking creatures do not exactly represent Jurong Bird Park!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahaha...

love my friends

No man is an island, and it is so true that on the Maslow's hierachy of needs, one of these needs is love and belonging. All of us will just die - without the concern from people, without feeling a sense of belonging to this world.

And it is love that keeps people together. I'm guilty of loving all you people out there!

haahahahah....the speech of a rock star wannabe.

I was touched when I read this in my yummy Cheesie's blog. I'm glad God used me to make a difference in her life, and I'm glad she continues to believe in the friendship that we have, though I seldom get to see her these days. (Thank you for the shirt you bought for me)

Aw tis testimony was like 2 yrs ago, then we were not very close. Though we share different interest, has different dress sense and were from a different church BUT I am so touched she understands me. It just proves that she loves me for who I am and her sincerity for a quality friendship. Can't imagine how life will be without her encouragement..never fail to enlighten me in conversations. She'll never get irritated by saying 'aiya you think too much, life is lidat, we can't do anythin!' I am declaring that without her support, I would have been the low self- esteem pure and original Chicago cheescake (the better of the best cheesecake!) that envies berry cheescake which looks slightly red and brighter but is more fattening. Love you my dear Chuckie!

Love you too, Cheesie!

________________________________________________________

i've been on this topic too many times
i feel i've failed as a friend sometimes
the same questions been asked
the answers given, i'm sorry i've disappointed you much
i really am

while on my pursuit of passion and selfish dreams
you told me i was too busy for you
that statement stung my heart, as I searched deeper

Thanks for believing in me

- this is dedicated to my friend Jesus, and especially Evelyn, Roy, Dan, Celest, Vanesa, and my cellgroup members and ALL my friends and MY sister.

I rejoice in the past

Search engines are the most amazing things that happened.
They allow you to find anything and everything and for all those who blog, be careful of what you write because you'll never know - your boss might just be reading the entry you bitched about him.

Anyway, somebody found my old blog. I read it and found it refreshing that I wrote this in 2004.

"I wonder all the time.. Why? Reality is harsh. Relationships are delicate issues that we all should handle with great care. Emotion is God's wonderful creation, and without that we would be a zombie nation wouldn't we. It is great to love and a joy to care and give your all for somebody you love..But maybe at this point of time God wants me to share my love with others around me, rather than concentrating my 100% on a single person? "
Monday, October 20, 2004 09:56 p.m.


I'm glad that I've thoroughly gotten over the ex.
I'm glad that I no longer cry and get depressed when I watch Smallville or any other teen movies.
I'm glad that I'm healed and living for His purpose!

He assured me

A beautiful Saturday morning I woke up
Not with a grouch nor with a sigh
I opened my eyes to be greeted by the beauty of His presence in my life
There was no hurry to get to work
There was no alarm to chase me off the bed
Just the sound of the chirping birds
Oh, FOR ONCE I could wake up late!

Out I went, nestled on the cosy sofa
my dad came by to ask me about some stuff
the conversation moved on
he shared with me
The years he's sacrificed to make things happen
The fears he's prevented us from having because he toiled hard to earn

I listened intently
I stared at his wrinkles, admiring
I've never felt so proud of my dad before

I'm sorry dad
I never took the time to hear
After 19 years
I've finally learnt
you're a respectable father, one whom I must cherish.
____________________________________


Just in my last post I mentioned about how much I cried during last week's father's day sermon because I've never felt loved by my dad.

Pastor preached that fathers should give attention, assurance, affection and approval to their child. I was seriously sad that Sunday, after hearing that sermon, because I've not experience any of those from my dad.

BUT the Lord is good, He knows this emptiness in me, and one week later, I find myself having this conversation with my earthly dad. There are so many things that I did not know about.. So much he's given to ensure my siblings and I were brought up well. WOW.

And God really assured my dad's love for me through this one coversation.

LOVE my Heavenly Father and my dad.




Countdown: 13 more weeks to end of internship

A Child Lives What He Learns

A Child Lives What He Learns

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns appreciation.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

by Dorothy Law Nolte 1972

I find this poem to be so true, as I observe the upbringings of myself and people around me.
I come under the hostility category.

Pastor shared this poem during Father's Day weekend service last week.
Throughout the sermon, my eyes were wet and I had to keep those wretched tears from rolling down.

I've learnt to fight for what I've wanted.. Was just having a chat with my supervisor this morning
when she asked if my parents spoiled me, since I was the baby of the family.

I went, "No! They didn't let me play basketball, they didn't let me go church, they didn't let me play drums!"
My supervisor, "Yet you did that all!"

Yes, I fought for what I wanted through much tears, screams, beatings etc.
All these also wouldn't have been possible without my sister who has always supported me in everything I've done.

During that Father's Day sermon, Pastor was sharing how one could be a better father.
The more he shared, the more I couldn't control the tears.
The truth is, as a child, there was an unfulfilled need for affection and assurance from my parents.
Through the years, I've grown to take aggresiveness and hostility from my family as a norm.
Not saying that my parents are bad, but as a family, we're so used to hostility that we forget that shouting at each other is rude,
forget that as humans we need words of affirmation etc.

It was probably a good thing that I was brought up in this manner, hence learn to fight for the things I believe in.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have stayed on in church when my mom threatened me or accused me.
Can't imagine what horrrendous stuff I would have fought for if I wasn't in church.

Thank God, for the way He has wired me..that has made me become the person that I am today.

I've become stronger, through it all.

Proverbs 20:30 "Blows that hurt cleanse away evil as do stripes the inner depths of the heart."

Anyway.. I'm just super jealous of this 6-year old kid called Emma..
Her mommy calls her everyday on the phone and tells her she is a good girl when she reads her book, the phone call always ends with "I love you".

I know that things will get better at home.

jules: You want to be with him, don't you?

bestie: I want to be with him so much.. I want everything to go slow... I want us to go slow... so that if we end up together, we'll have all the time in the world..

jules: wow..


__________________________________________

That statement came out so naturally from my friend.. How true it is.

I know of many that get into boy-girl relationships soon after they discover mutual feelings of admiration for each other.
But little did these people also consider that being in a BGR is more than just having someone to cuddle or spend time with.

It's a commitment that says, "Hey.. I'm willing to lay down my life for you."

Yes, it sounds a tad too serious. But I've always believed that when one enters a relationship, he/she should already be thinking about sharing their future together. Otherwise what for be in a relationship?

I've heard too much about guys that want to be in a relationship and yet are not ready to commit themselves.
During the happy times, he whispers sweet nothings.
When he gets too busy, he will be too busy to even reply your sms.
Not having the maturity when confronted, he gets offended easily and starts accusing.

MEN, if you're not even able to control your emotions how can you be a good husband?
Stop being childish, and try to understand your girlfriend/wife when they try to communicate their feelings to you!
When she tells you that some stranger has complimented her, WAKE UP YOUR IDEA and stop thinking that she is interested in that stranger. SHE wants you to be proud of her!
When she asks you why your female friend calls you so late, why do you get agitated?

Where there is no communication, there is no relationship.


Ok this is drifting away from where the post started and I'm getting too angry for my beloveds who are in the above situations.

Anyway. I'm still amazed by the statement my friend made.

Be Bold, Be Daniel

It's been more than two weeks since I've last written..
For the past weeks, I've been scrambling from place to place, coping with a few hours of sleep daily. The deadly stress infection has since happily peppered themselves over my forehead, forming what u call pimples.
Though it seemed impossible to me when I look back now, but YES, I have survived and EMERGED stronger.

By His grace, these things happened in the last two weeks:

- I managed to put together an appreciation dinner for my Singapore Youth Science Festival committee, after tedious negotiations for venue and gifts. They loved the location and the food.
My supervisor and GM were pleased..

- Perform different 6 sequences for launch of sports beverage, Activade. Out of which the six, three I've never done in my life. It was totally a miracle for me to have even memorised these in the midst of my busy schedule, but thank God, the gig turned out well.

- Chiong all the sessions for Emerge! (except for one which I woke up late, that is)
Also honoured to play on the new UDMs for the opening and finale night...
Beyond the colorful lights and water that supposedly make us look good or "glam", we were not there just to perform, nor to hype up the congregation. We were really there, as ministers to the congregation. It was not about the strokes, nor how good everything looked, it was the spirit that we carried, the spirit of joy and passion, the spirit of God, most importantly.
______________________________________________

Emerge was awesome.
Pastor has never failed to shock us again and again, and this time I was really shocked when Kelly Poon was introduced on stage. Then Junyang, then TAUFIK!!!

Taufik was ssooooooo HAWT. urhm. ok sidetrack.
yeap. you're reading this right. They performed at church.
For the religious, this would be totally ridiculous.
For the Elohim-spirit(creative spirit) led, this was a bold move that worked wondrous ways.
On one hand, it was an opportunity that these celebrities would be open to the house of God and experience the goodness in it.
On the other, it was a reminder/inspiration to the congregation that with His word and Him, we're even able to even do exceedingly, above what these celebrities have done.

God has given this church the vision to be in the marketplace, and the leaders have taken many shockingly bold steps in the course of following this vision. Steps that risk controversy, steps that many rather avoid to accomodate to the standards of the world. I'm so proud of them.
________________________________________________

15 weeks to end of attachment

This link is for the coverage of the National Youth Leaders Conference (previous post.)http://youth.sg/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=794&Itemid=28

Young Leaders Conference

It's been a great honour to serve Him with Strikeforce.

It was the morning of 20 May, Saturday. These kids, dressed in the school uniforms, representatives from many secondary schools and JCs in Singapore.
They came together, for the Young Leaders Conference.

Strikeforce was invited to open the event for the day.
At 9:55am, we were ready in our positions, bold and full of zest.
The ever familiar whistle blew, and we strutted in with spacejam beats, leading the way for Minister - Prime Minister's Office, Lim Swee Say.

The sleepy, non-responsive crowd woke up and began cheering.

After playing the grand entrance for the minister, we moved on to the stage to start our item. The silence broke, once again. Sporadic screams of excitement came at junctures of the performance. Man, this is one of the most responsive frenzied audience ever!

The youths, they are the pillars of the country. Amongst these youth leaders, there are many potential entrepreneurs, ministers, opinion leaders. Strikeforce, carrying the spirit of God, was there. When they cheered, they truly cheered for the works of God. We were merely availing ourselves and the little that we have to offer. But the Lord has used us, to stir the hearts and emotions of these young leaders.

It's great to be on stage.. but there is a price to pay to be God's chosen.

1 Thess 1:3-5
"remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father, knowing, beloved brethren, your election by God. For our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Spirit and in much assurance.."

After the conference ended, Val met some juniors from AHS...they went..."WOW... You are from Strikeforce?" In my heart, I was like, "WOW...God, You've used us to make a difference."


For from Strikeforce, the word of the Lord has sounded forth, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but also in every place. (1 Thess 1:8)

Billy Cobham drum clinic 17 May

Got a free ticket to watch Billy Cobham in action, thanks to Aloy. Was thrilled to receive his msg at around 5pm last Wed (17 May), when the show would be at 730pm.

Took a picture with the legend. He told me he started playing since he was three. !?!!?! man. I wished I had started earlier.

It was held at Balmoral Plaza, some ulu mall (think Peninsula) at Bukit Timah. It was at this something Silver Pub (think small shady pub in Far East). Kinda taken aback to find out that the drum clinic hosting this international act was really in there.

The show was good! Learnt a few things:

• Volumes of playing can create different vibes
• Training the left hand to be a lead in playing - practise stroking with heavy textbook on the lefty
• Tuning of drums to create the kind of environment suited for personal preference
• Using two drumsticks on both hands on the drumset (like mallet players)
• Try wacky stuff like sticking a drumstick in the middle of the highhat
• You could be playing a simple rhythm, but if you get people in the crowd bopping in the head with you, you're on the right track.

Of course that was not all that I got from the show. The display of his groove on the drums, the way he knew how to make his drums work for him, not the other way around.

I wanna learn to play these simultaneously - double on my right foot, rhumba clave on my left hand, shuffle on my right hand, and quarter open close high-hat on my left food.

Anyway, really grateful that Aloysius invited me for the show. and Val for accompanying me.

Countdown : 19 more weeks to the end of attachment

been having migraine ever since I started attachment.

Lord, you are my fortress, my strength, my ever present help in times of need.

Jehovah Shammah, always with me, I need you. so much.

love my sis

Bought bLAST!

woke up this morning excited to watch it, but my VCD player died.

wanted to watch on my computer instead, but first there was hard disk failure and when I could finally on my comp, there was not enough memory.

Ranted to my sis and she drove me to her house to so that I could watch my vcd.

To my dismay, I left disc one in my comp's CD Drive.

What a blur baboon. Thank God there's still a second disk, but the battery battle was in the first disc.

Nevertheless, it was a great time fellowshipping with my sister.

She may be 16 years older but we share our joys and cries together.

We understand each others' pain and passion

She helped me squeeze my pimples hahaha.. I told her about the guy I have a crush on..

I miss the times we could jam together in my house, her on the piano, me on drums

Love her so much, I respect this lady, who's been a great influence in my life, who's brought me to church as a kid, who's sparked my interest in music, who's taken good care of me, and supported me in all my interests and passion, and I am who I am today, because of her.

I wouldn't be playing drums if not for her.
She could have spent all that money on her piano lessons instead of my drum lessons.

this is dedicated to you Sophia.
I love you sister.

Emerge 06 is coming!!

I'm really looking forward to it.
And this year I won't miss POS because it is at night!!

WEEE.

Anyone who happens to need a schedule of the events
you can download it here. I'm such an addict to excel now I did up this to circulate to my cell members. ahahaa

okie bye.

I'm sitting here, stoning
My mind's in a whirl, the entire morning
So many things to be
I've only myself to convince
that I'm not just a kid
I'm a warrior for the glorious King

I see the gleam in the enemy's eyes
ready to wrestle the doubts in my heart
Picking up the five stones with my hands
I flung with all my strength, confessing Jesus with my mouth

The enemy will never win this war

2 Cor 4:8-11 We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed;
we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed--
always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus,
that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake,
that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

Identity crisis

I feel so small

amongst the sea of strange faces

smiles were everywhere

exchanges of compliments and handshakes

mingling around with drinks and their cakes

I was just a fly buzzing past their sight

they came together for a good cause

the rich, the elites, the execs

showing their support to change the world, it seemed

in fact, it was work obligation that roped them in

the clock struck 12

the aristocrat crowd dispersed in an instant

I stood there

still feeling small

Welcome to the real world

####

Lord, help me grow up

I'm not a kid no more

But the Lord said to me: "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak.

The Scarlet, boutique hotel

The first week of my attachment has been quite alright... other than having problems to wake up early and having to deal with an identity crisis.

Official time for work is 7:45am - 5:15pm, but working hours can extend beyond that depending on whether you get your work done.

I'm not just a kid now, I'm not just a student, I'm an adult, I'm a PR person for *****. It got me really stressed up knowing that there are various events coming up that I would have to organise.... and ***** being a huge MNC gets approached for many sponsorship requests...I would have to reject these, some of which seem desperate to me.

But I know it's gonna be fun!
Going out to events and meeting BIG people.
Scary.

Gotta stretch my mind and think myself in terms of the bigger picture....

We had department lunch at The Scarlet on Wed....
It's the most wonderful place I've ever been to!
The place is red and black and all velvety!

We stood at the door, and this man opened it, for a moment I thought it was Count Dracula.

He is huge and very tall, dressed in a long trenchcoat.

"Hi y'all", he said.

I stepped into the lobby and my eyes opened wide. "I love this place, it's red and black", I chirped. In the lounge area divided into portions with different themes, there were huge vintage armchairs and florrid deco.

We were transported to another world. You feel sensuality oozing from the atmosphere surrounding.

It was a set lunch $28 per person, paid by the company.

The food was really good, appetiser/soup, main course and dessert.

But too bad I didn't take any pictures of any.

And I lou-saied the next day, green yucky stuff. My colleagues didn't though.

The toilet was pretty.

If anyone has money lying around looking to pamper yourself or family or friend(s), this is the place.

http://www.thescarlethotel.com/#

Got the pictures off their website.

SERIOUSLY, the pictures don't tell alot. You have to be there to experience it.

It's a haven to feel pampered.

Have you seen her

her jet black tresses fall upon those delicate shoulders
like rippling waves, they frame her fair face
in heels and skirt
she walks the streets
many strange eyes are entranced by her beauty

Nobody sees her
Nobody hears

exuding innocence and elegance
she takes dainty steps
beyond the placid disposition
those beaming eyes across the porcelain complexion
they tell a story

Yet nobody sees
Nobody hears

their eyes are on her
but has anybody seen

the scars she suffered
in her tender heart
on her slender wrists
Dejection has long killed her
its the empty shell they see


will you be the one to bring her hope
or will you judge her like everybody else
Bring her back to arms of her loving Father

Have you seen her?
Have you heard?

_______________________________________________

This is dedicated to my friend.

There are many people around us who appear to be happy and doing well. However, many of these people have unmet needs or even major problems in their lives.

Sad to say, these people might be people we meet everyday, in school, at work, or even our family members. Who would have known that behind the shenanigans of the class joker, there are struggles from a broken family; that behind the hard-driven cheerleading star, there are depression issues from an abusive relationship?

Pst Tan preached a great sermon today! I was really stirred up.
All of us are indeed one body and we're created with different personalities for a reason.

Anyway, thanks for the concern about my wound everybody!
I removed the stitches this morning, thank God it did not hurt at all!

Praying for miracle healing, for the scar to go away and hair to grow back on my brow!

3 stitches in my eyebrow

I've never seen so much blood in my hands before.

The dent on my forehead, did I break my skull?
No I can't let it bleed anymore.
Did the impact affect my eyesight?
I looked ahead, my vision was clear.
I need an ambulance. I need to get home. My parents need to know.

I walked.
The two men were having a chat at the void deck. They looked at me as I walked past with my right hand pressing on my temple.
Don't look at my bloody mess, I thought in my heart.
Somebody please bring me home now.
A malay couple walked past me... I turned back..holding my wound in grimace
"Excuse me, can you please bring me to my home..I live on the 8th storey?"

The lady took my arm and held me as her boyfriend walked ahead swiftly.

They asked me if I was beaten up.

"No...I fell."

My heart raced with my feet down the steps as we approached my unit.

"Mom. I fell down and am bleeding. Need to go hospital."

Her answers were the most perplexing shouts and screams you wouldn't want to hear at 1am, especially when you have a bleeding head.

I thanked the Malay couple briefly and they left.

(in Mandarin)"Don't play drums anymore, so many things've happened since u play drums."

My heart burned with frustration.. "Please bring me to the hospital now."

She was flustered... went to the kitchen, brought me a few pieces of cotton.

So we went.

I was calm and knew what to do until her repeated accusations made tears surface.
It's not the drums.

I went ahead and made registration at the counter.. and there it goes.. the long wait at the hospital before treatment.

I just needed to rant and cry.

I blamed myself for being careless.
The funny thing is that I knew I shouldn't have gone out. There was no peace in my heart. Even when we got on the train, there was something in me that asked me to go home and not hang out. Despite the turmoil in my heart, I decided to defy it and go anyway.

And another thing is, I met my 14 year old niece in the morning and happened to look at her scar below the eyebrow and wondered to myself how she got it.

So now I know, that was the Holy Spirit speaking and telling me not to hang out. I chose to disobey it and with that I had to bear the consequences of a broken eyebrow.

Lord, I thank You for Your protection, that I didn't suffer a broken skull or injure my eyes.

e269, thanks for your concern and praying in the middle of the night when u heard about my accident.

Mom Dad, thanks for going to hospital with me and staying with me until 4am.

Kaili, thanks for hearing me rant and comforting me on the phone during my long wait at the hospital.

The malay couple, thanks for bringing me home..I can't imagine what would have happened if I met some crook.


Will need to go to polyclinic everyday to dress the wound.. and the stitches would be removed on Saturday.

No more nice eyebrows my mom said.

Jehovah Jireh, My Provider

I got posted to Shell for my attachment!
I didn't expect it, especially after I seemingly screwed up the interview.
I heard guffaws as I stepped out of the external affairs department when my interview ended and I was like, that's it, I'm definitely not gonna get into Shell.
But Praise God..I got through!

Reporting time for first day of work 10 April at Shell Towers UE Square is 745am.
I need a wake up call, seriously.

Does anybody want a job doing admin and can commit for 1 - 2 months or even longer?

I've been working at Symantec for the past two weeks and the HR staff told me that they need 2 - 3 people...probably to replace my position. Though it was boring brainless stuff like printing, photocopying, scanning, stapling and DE-stapling and the likes...throw in some msn, talkative colleagues and an office full of tidbits... it becomes like a primary school party. hahaha.

Thank God for the provision for the job because I didn't even go look for it.
My good friend Ally happened to land herself an interview at my sister's company and mentioned me..and the boss remembered me and asked me to go work with her!
Though this meant no rest before my attachment starts, I could not resist the offer because it was a great chance to work with my friend and get to know her all over again after we took our separate paths from secondary school.

Lovely.

So I've got Symantec and Shell on my resume now.
God is good man!

Djembe rolys

Life song

Casting Crowns - Lifesong

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You

______________


Was deciding between P.O.D, Building 429, Mercy Me and Casting Crowns and somehow I decided to grab Casting Crowns to the cashier.

Tore open the plastic wrapping this morning after much effort.
I'm so glad I settled on Casting Crowns!

There is a foreword before the lyrics of every song, and the foreword for Lifesong says:

".....My life purpose is to give God glory through everything I do.
If my life does not worship Him, my songs don't either."


This line hit me.

It's not about how high we jump or how happy our faces look during praise and worship.
It's not about the number of times we shout Hallelujah.
It's not about the beautiful words of praise in the songs.

Let my praises rise up to You as a sweet aroma from the frankincense
I don't just wanna say words that are sweet..For honey is sweet but produces a foul smell when burnt.

I come before You.... with nothing in my hands.
Dirty, and ugly, like the frankincense
I give You all I am,

let the Spirit come and burn me on once again so that my life can produce a sweet aroma unto You.

Galatians 2:20

"It is no longer I who live, but Christ that lives in me. And the life which I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."

WOOOOHOOOOOO

Took some time to make this blogskin right.. HAHA. Finally.

Presenting myheartremainswithyou skin v1 in my favourite RED, BLACK and CHECKERED DESIGN.

MY BABYBABY BASS DRUM IS BACK!!!!!

Its beeeeeen approximately 816 hours since I last saw it, almost 40 days since I laid my foot on that bouncy pedal and probably 2 months since I played the full drumkit.

Wheeee its jamming time again!!!
Bassists, guitarists, bring ur kit, come on down to blk 63 to party.

hahaha. Ok.

- end of enthusiasm -

Went for Mosaic Festival yesterday. It was fantabulous.
Latino and Afrocuban. Opened my eyes to see beyond the usual 4/4 rhythms.
These guys really have the groove within man..go wit tha flo

I wanna be so creative when I play too man.

Anyway. I was just surfin. and I found this.

sesquipedalian

ses·qui·pe·da·lian (sĕs'kwĭ-pĭ-dāl'yən)

n. Defn: A long word.

______________________________

?!!! right.
so... I guess to form a sentence with this word it could be
"Sesquipedalian is a sesquipedalian ."

Does this make sense? HAHAH.

Rock Climbing

I went rock climbing today with Liting, Rallen, Brina.
I expected it an entire day of sweltering climb under the burning sun... hence before I left the house I smeared furiously blobs of sunblock on my already chao-tah-ed arms and face.

I found myself in dismay when I stepped into the air-conditioned ClimbAdventure in Tanjong Pagar, located amidst the high-rise office towers.

For goodness sake, it was not what I pictured at all.
No sweaty, smelly bodies in action, no glaring sunlight, NOPE.

A bunch of kindergarten kids were having fun cheering their peers and teachers who were on the ropes, climbing.

For $2.50, it was indeed a great place to hang out, literally.

I managed to complete 3 climbs... I think. Other than that, I tried a few more, but unsuccessful attempts. The fingers were really aching after each attempt.

Salute to Liting, she completed her humour 5! She completed that wall using 5 pieces, despite the problematic last piece, which was way out of reach. But she kept trying....I would have given up.
Enjoyed climbing! =)


Was reading my good friend's blog and I came across one of her latest post...

"It's okay. Try again."

It's the most reassuring thing Jesus can say to me right now. I was reading Max Lucado and he was using an example of rock climbing. How we climb the wall of life towards our upward call and sometimes, we get intimidated by the height, or we get distracted and we slip and fall. We will never crash all the way to the floor cos' there will always be the guide or the instructor or my Jesus holding us up, urging us to try again.

Sometimes, all we need is for someone to believe in us.

I'm glad God believes in me. What credentials do I have? Nothing. Yet God says that He only think good thoughts towards me, thoughts of hope and a future for me. And even if we failed the 293093284th time, He will not unwaver in His faith towards us. Amazing right?

This. Is. Love.
______________________________

Yup.
There are some pieces on the wall that we come across on the wall that might be too hard to get to... and at this point thoughts of giving up would appear to distract you..but we need to keep persevering in order to get to the next level. Knowing that whatever the next step might lead us to, Jesus is still there, holding on to us.

beeeautiful.

Gymed with Ling ling in the afternoon and played bball with Kenneth, Darryl, Michael, Peggie, Mich, Ian, Cheryl, Jenn, Cheexiang at night! Wooh, just nice to play full court.

Glad that so many of them could make it today and the whole game I was just laughing non-stop. Can't remember what I was laughing about though.. but it was fun!



Really wanna maximise the time I have this short holiday..

Get my priorities straight.
Practise drumming.
Love my family, spend time with them.
Get to know my cell members and SF members better.
SERVE!

-Countdown: 6 days to getting back my bass drum-

Changes

the rustling of the leaves
the humid air blows
these greens are no more,
wilting to become golden brown crisps
they keep falling
the trees are balding

in this beaming sunlight
it would have been perfect for photosynthesis
in this rainlessness
the trees are stripped of their crowning glory

the scorching heat
has caused grumbles many
still, let's take some time to admire the beauty

Appreciate.

the beauty of Changes
the beauty of seasons
the beauty of His creations

___________________________________

Ok. I feel so dumb now. WHAT DID I just write?!

hahaa..I was just thinking about the hideous sea of brown leaves scattered all over the fitness station near my block when I was walking home just now. And then I looked up and saw the trees. I went like, "aww" in my heart. and then I decided it was quite a pretty sight too. YES, ok that was very dumb!

ok anyway, i hope that what I wrote made sense.

Yups, Changes are the only constant in life. So no matter what changes or tough times we go through, it is just a season that is gearing us up for the next season! Seasons come, seasons go, simply hold on, and your favourite season will come along, take your pick, Winter, Summer, Spring or Autumn!

It's an emo generation

I don't wanna keep falling...
into this abyss so deep
Nobody sees nobody hears
the lie that I'm living in
it's hard. so hard.
Lord would you please show me
Lord would you please enlighten me
hide me from the hurting truth
that i may live ONLY for Your glory once more
_________________________________

I misssssssssss my bassss drummmm!!!!!!! I wannna kicccckkcickkickcickckicck.
-Countdown: 12 days to getting back my bass drum-

"Promise"

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
Make this last forever

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

Pursue the future, moving on from the past

Exams are finally over!!
And I wouldn't have to touch those textbooks until at least September!

Weeeee.
Attachment is starting on April 10.
This means I have about 6 weeks of break!

And the meeting with Ps Ulf really came in time, to define my vision for the future.
Thank God I went for all three days, because He preached about calling on the last day.

It was tremendous, by the end of the meeting, tears ran down my face like a trickling watertap, dripping and wetting the chair in front of me.

I should let neither circumstances, finances, fear nor inadequacies get in the way of pursuing His calling.

I'm excited for this journey ahead.

Time to recharge my life, power up and serve my cellgroup more.
AND time to play drums!

_____________________________________________

Well anyway, I found something that brought me a smile while tidying my room.

This is written in my journal to my teacher when I was in sec 1 in 2000, and the topic was "Two things I've gained(since entering sec school)"

........"I also gained basketball skills, discipline and integrity. When I mean discipline, I meant that I have to learn to stop talking so much in class during lessons because I was caught "talking" during Mdm Cheng's lesson. We were having Chinese spelling and after that we had exchanged papers to mark, so I exchanged with Alison. Alison's paper was full of mistakes and (...) so she asked me if she had failed as we passed back the papers. At that moment, Mdm Cheng (became furious and) asked to go out of the classroom. Then she asked us to meet her at the staff room during recess. Both our names were highlighted in pink on the class list and she warned us that if we did that again, she will request for us to be suspended from basketball. I love basketball very much, so I cannot bear to leave it. ......."

And that resulted in quite a big understanding because we thought that our Chinese teacher were biased against basketball girls.
and there goes...."Oh...those were the days."
Miss training with them. Miss running up and down the stairs. Miss queueing at the water cooler. Miss changing from school shoes to basketball shoes after school. Miss putting hands together before matches to shout, "Sheng Zhong, OuuuSh!"
Miss the 2-1-2, 1-4, 3-2, 1-1-3 blaaah formations. LOL.
Miss the girls.
All the best to those collecting A level results on Wed!

Time to study for exams once again.

Click here to read what I wrote last August. One of the lamest thing I've ever written as I was procrastinating to study.


GOTTA FOCUSSSSSSSSSSS

Chinese Newswriting
20 Feb 2006 14:30-16:30
Cross Cultural Communication
22 Feb 2006 09:30 11:30
Multi-Media & Electronic Publishing
23 Feb 2006 09:30 11:30

Love, not just for lovers.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

Valentine's Day, as much as it seems to be a commercial strategy invented by the scheming marketeers, people still come together to celebrate their love and appreciation for one another...
You don't have to be attached or go for candlelit dinners to be involved in Vday, for the rest of us who are single and carefree, we should show love and concern to the people around us!
_____________________________________________________________
Just felt let to write about this issue, which I've been pondering on for quite some time. This post is abit too cutesy for my liking, but I guess adding some pictures would liven up the reading a lil.

Not everybody is easily love-able or like-able, like your really tactful Hello Kitty without a mouth,



or your Mickey mouse, whose ears are always open so wide to hear you...

There are definitely times when you get offended by somebody's insensitive comments, irritated by one who has crossed over the boundaries, annoyed by another's know-it-all attitude, disappointed by a particular person's decisions...etc.


But we have to forgive, still.

We are to "be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of (our) love". (Eph 4:2)

We are all debtors of love.
And by holding a grudge towards a person, you can grieve the Holy Spirit.

"Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit and bind yourselves together with peace."Eph 4:3

Especially in church, we are one body, and in order for breakthrough to happen, we must be of one mind, one Spirit.

As imperfect humans, we might still continue to see the faults in the person who offended us and think about how they should do this or that...even thoughts like "Call yourself a Christian!" might run through our minds.

Remember Mt 7:3 "Why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?"

We're not to play Holy Spirit, but as we continue to judge ourselves and renew our thoughts and attitudes(Eph 4:23), we are able to grow to be more mature sons and daughters of God, and eventually measure up to the full stature of Christ.

Eph 4:16 "As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts to grow."

As leaders, we are to walk in the light and lead by example.
As we fine-tune our own character, let the Spirit within us influence the people around.

Ephesians 6:12
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

after reading all these, it might still be hard to forgive and forget.

Hold on,

Phil 2:13 (NLT)
"For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and power to do what He pleases."

You can forgive and forget, if you choose to.

chapalang

isn't fitri sweet haha.. he made this with batteries

Ooh I finally got my drums back!!!
But I can't play yet.. Aloy's got my bass drum until march 12.
urggggh i miss playing..


Meanwhile this is the video I made for my project.

It was a one man show (if you don't count the talent in the vid that is)
I did all filming, editing, animation, blah. All those nights spent in school.
Not very well done, due to lack of time and having to juggle between the many deadlines, Chingay practices and cellgroup stuff..

Nevertheless, I shall share this. (PLEASE ON YOUR SPEAKERS BEFORE PRESSING PLAY)

Celest, enjoy watching yourself...

Strikeforce at Chingay in Chinese

Muuahahaha... I wrote this for my Chinese Newswriting feature article. I got an A for it!! Lol. Despite the lack of use of Chinese... Thank God. Hehe. Read it! Improve your chinese!!!

(click for better view)

the One

Took some time to pray and worship during the Chinese New Year period...
I was worshipping on the guitar and this song came out.. I grabbed my pen and recorded down.
Simple song, but it's really meaningful to me.

Enjoy. (click on picture for better view)

More heavenly songs to come!

Chingay is finally over!

It was a great show, all glory unto Him!

Despite a horrendous performance on the full dress rehearsal on Friday, God turned things around and rained anointing on us on the actual day for Chingay.

Moments to remember...

human flocks running for shelter during the frequent seizures of showers

UDM (ultimate drum machine) toppling over while Nick was deeply immersed playing his cross hands strokes at the climax of the performance

the cursed 4 injuries-in-a-row on 3rd day of CNY

1 - And - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and - 5 - and - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and - 5 - and - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and........

the prata eating sessions at Iman (Yawn.)

the hair-raising experience when Michelle broke her egg yolk before my eyes. *vomit*

my few seconds of fame on National TV

the many shocked-and-at-a-loss-for-word-half-jaw-dropping faces when Bro Boon said sternly after the performance, "Guys...What were you doing....(tension arose. silent confusion.)...YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME!" the silence broke into intense cheers and joyful laughs instantaneously!

the bonding of relationships amongst Strikeforce members through the trainings, setting up and dismantling of equipments, perspirations, tears, comparing of OR-CHEhs (bruises), the jokes and hysterical screams, the frustrations and the overcoming.....

AND MORE.

Loveeeeee Strikeforce.
__________________________________


Hallelujah! 3 performances in 3 days.
As I thought about it, God really is using us to make a difference in our community. As we performed, I looked at the fascinated faces in the crowds before me..
There we were playing, displaying what we've acquired after months of training. It was a trying time for many of us, juggling between various commitments, but as we availed ourselves to practice and honour the gifts that He has given, what we've sowed has indeed bore forth fruits...

And these audiences, the president, the prime minister, the people at Orchard Rd or AngMoKio, or those watching TV at home, whether they like it or not, when they cheered for us, they were cheering for God's masterpiece!


I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT STRIKEFORCE GIG.

the years of my childhood

A child I was, I grew up in my own world
Playmates I had, but I was still a loner
My 3 siblings were never there to play with me
In their metamorphical early adult years they were when I was born

I've always felt small everywhere I go

Toys I had many
Cars, soldiers, dolls
Guns, figurines, balls
Almost had 'em all
but playing was rare
my mom was afraid I scratched the marble floor
was afraid to spoil me if she brought me outdoors

primary school started
I didn't need to play at home anymore

Across the fields I'd run
to chase malay boys and play games
while the other girls were mingling, having their recess
Met new friends, they were cool to hang out with
I was envious they could play at playgrounds without parents yelling
I'd make up stories about libraries and projects
avoiding to go home early so that i could make merry

my mom hated my friends
whatever i wanted she hated

The caning stick was a common sight
running around the house, I screamed and cried
Under the bed I'd hide
I could never escape the terrors of that wretched stick
My tears,my only companion in the loneliest night

Is there any formula to make me grow up, fast?

Reluctantly, I bid my primary schoolmates well
off to Anglican High, my dream school as a child
The canings and verbal hurts remained
but I've found closer friends and a new love - basketball
We'd train and laugh, the times quickly passed.
Reality broke when I heard her holler once again

I didn't understand why

At 10, she wouldn't let me join brownies
At 11, she scolded me when I practised badminton
Through my teenage years, she resented me for playing basketball.
I felt restrained, lost, I would never ever live doing what I love

At 13, I met the Lord through a song
He showed me that my life meant more than what it seemed
I am imperfect but He loves me still
I am an ignorant child but He told me He is real

It hurt me the most when she called me a fool

I pursued on for the truth
He revealed even more while she remained aloof
Strength imparted, His mercy healed me
Through the criticisms I shall remain unfazed
With grace I shall love her

Indeed I'm a fool, a fool for Christ
I now live for His purpose
I now live for His people

God is good, I now have a new toy! The drums. hahaha.

The song that touched me is below.

SO YOU WOULD COME (thanks to guitar4christ.com)

BEFORE THE WORLD BEGIN

YOU WERE ON HIS MIND
AND EVERY TEAR YOU CRIED
IS PRECIOUS IN HIS EYES
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON

EVERY THING WAS DONE

SO YOU WOULD COME

NOTHING YOU CAN DO
TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE
AND NOTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE
COULD MAKE HIM CLOSE THE DOOR
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GIVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERY THING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

COME TO THE FATHER
THOUGH YOUR GIFT IS SMALL
BROKEN HEARTS, BROKEN LIVES
HE WILL TAKE THEM ALL

THE POWER OF THE WORD
THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

I was reminded of this song and all the emotions that I had when I heard this when I was 13 came alive again...Though at that time I already heard the songs a few times before, but somehow it spoke to me because I never felt that important in my life until I sang "EVERY THING WAS DONE, SO YOU WOULD COME". During my growing years, I used to resent my life...and wished it ended but as I continued to sing that song God painted a joyous picture of my family and the heavens celebrating when I was born.. Wow... and the tears flowed as I felt His love overwhelm me, telling me that I could come to Him no matter how broken I was. That day, Aug 13 2000, I officially became a Christian.