STUCKITITIS

I struggled, this morning.

I wondered, what it would be like to carry on the day, when it started badly.

I needed, some form of encouragement.

I opened, this book

Before my eyes, the words I read shocked me.

"Chapter 2: LOVING THE PEOPLE YOU ARE STUCK WITH - a forgiving heart"


I couldn't believe it.
I was just having an overheated discussion with my mom.
Helpless, hopeless after that

The past haunted me
A stumbling block
I stumbled over and over again


When I opened the book, I knew God was here
In the midst of the argument, when I forgot His presence


I'm suffering from STUCKITITIS
my definition: this is a condition which one is feeling frustrated because he/she is stuck in a relationship which he/she has no choice but to stay in it, and has to accept and love the other party no matter what
This applies to the following situations:

The desperate housewife and her non-communicator husband
The burnt-out husband and his non-understanding nagging wife
The flustered mom and her rebellious kid
The depressed kid and his even more depressed mom
The excited kid who has lost interest in his pet


The book says:
"SUCH ARE THE QUESTIONS WE ASK WHEN WE FEEL STUCK WITH SOMEONE. THERE IS A WORD FOR THIS CONDITION. UPON CONSULTING THE ONE-WORD MEDICAL DICTIONARY (WHICH I WROTE THE DAY BEFORE I CRAFTED THIS CHAPTER), I DISCOVERED THAT THIS CONDITION IS A COMMON MALADY KNOWN AS STUCKITITIS. (STUCK MEANING “TRAPPED.” ITITIS BEING THE SIX LETTERS YOU TAG ON TO ANY WORD YOU WANT TO SOUND IMPRESSIVE. READ IT OUT LOUD: STUCKITITIS.) MAX’S MANUAL OF MEDICAL TERMS HAS THIS TO SAY ABOUT THE CONDITION:

Attacks of stuckititis are limited to people who breathe and typically occur somewhere between birth and death. Stuckititis manifests itself in irritability, short fuses, and a mountain range of molehills. The common symptom of stuckititis victims is the repetition of questions beginning with who, what, and why. Who is this person? What was I thinking?
Why didn’t I listen to my mother?"

There are 3 ways to cope with STUCKITITIS:

FLEE
FIGHT
or
FORGIVE


Because I wasn't given the chance to, I couldn't flee.
I fought. and fought. and fought.
I thought I forgave.
But I was fighting to forgive.

I'm stuck, but with His grace I can overcome this.

Just like the way Jesus loved us,
even though we are filthy irritating childish naughty

His mercy has taught us to forgive.



read the entire chapter of the book mentioned here.

Screamo

who says listening to screamo makes me depressed?

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. EPH 6:12

actually it does get me depressed, but it's about the right selection.
Underoath is one of my all time favourites - try it, u MIGHT like it. (not for the faint hearted)

he'll never know

She'll never forget how his eyes sparkled in the dark
That very moment that melted her heart

Getting close to him was what she yearned
The days they didn't meet simply made her heart sick

his humour has influenced her
his words have become a part of her
being beside him, that's where she longs to be

Days and months went past
she could only wish for the good times to last

"the worst way to miss a person is to be beside a person, yet knowing you can't have the person",
her bestie once said to her
which, sad to say, in her case, this would be

he'll never know how excited she was everytime they meet
he'll never know that she remembers everything he said
he'll never know how much he has brightened her life

he'll never know how she cries herself to sleep
he'll never know that he has changed her life


he'll never know.
he'll never know.


----------------------------------------------------

this is really a stupid poem.
hahaha but ya.


ANYWAY I'm really HAPPY cos I just set up a keyboard in my jamming room!!!

Keyboard and drumssss.. I started playing on the keyboard today, It was so fun..

Anybody wants to jam?

I got guitar too... but not electric haha..

WEEE~

When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.

No storm can put out this fire

All of us were really in the same flow at last night's CGM.

The few of us who shared testimony - it was all about how God placed His purpose in our lives
Little did we know, the sermon for this week was "Building a life of Purpose"!


On Jimmy's closing for the message, he said that Passion can influence others.
He also mentioned this quote:

"When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn. " John Wesley

Wow.

SERIOUSLY, I never considered myself passionate about drumming until recently, when my boss at Shell introduced me as "passionate about drumming" to some externals we were meeting.

And this leads me to how astounded I am, when I look back upon my six months at Shell.

I've been saying this...but I can't help but say it again.

This past six months has been the toughest, albeit the best time of my life.

I remember when this internship started, I was so depressed. I couldn't find a purpose. And I couldn't stop counting down, the more I counted, the more depressed I got.
I was also very tired due to the long weekend trainings for National Day, on top of that, frequent late night practices for corporate gigs. I had little rest.

However, this has also been the best period of my life, because everything that I lived upon was based on faith.


Getting permission to leave work early for rehearsals/gigs
Getting permission to take one week break for KL Emerge Conference
Getting permission from my mom to go KL (despite her initial threats and anger, I believed something happened when she told me to "be careful when you go KL")
Having financial provision for the KL trip
Having His joy and strength at work despite lack of sleep
Having His creativity and positivity to take on the roles I never thought I could at Shell
Having His anointing and skill to play various roles which I thought I couldn't when performing with Strikeforce


It is simply amazing.

I thank Him for the favour He has placed in my life, the favour from my boss and colleagues.
I thank Him because though I have been stretched, He has also used me to impact hundreds and thousands of people through the performances He has sent me to.


All glory to the Lord!

No storm can put out this fire

It's Friday the 13th.
I lost my one and a half month old wallet.
I'm sad. It's a new Roxy wallet I bought from KL.

I have to move on, oh well.

I was so bothered.. Loss results in loss of hope.
It hinders your motivation in moving forward.

Losing my wallet means I cannot go ahead with my plans normally
Distracting me from doing my report
Having to set aside all other tasks to report loss to the various authorities

My head was brimming with negative thoughts and questions
My heart was searching for the reasons - "How did this happen?" "Why did God allow this to happen?" "I should have withheld myself from hanging out last night when there were second thoughts in the first place." "Shitty me, so careless."
"This is just an act of the devil to distract me from moving on."

I was struggling inside.
How could I still praise God in this situation? (The tune "Praise You in the Storm by Casting Crowns played in my head.)
I can't find a reason to..

Opening my bible, Romans 5:3-5 (NLT) read:
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

I was bowled over when I read this.

Yes, nothing should bring me down. This happened because of my carelessness, but it is ok, I'll just move on, and be more careful.

Romans 8:26 (NLT)
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weaknesses.."

I have to remain vigilant.

1 Oct 2006 - A wonderful day

Those pics were taken at Mediacorp last Sunday. We were there as guest performers for Channel 8's "It's Showtime!", which was hosted by Zhong Qing and Guo Liang. While we were backstage, Zhong Qing walked past and I asked Neo, "You remember her?"

He went, "Yeah of course! Fang tian.." I was like, "Huh, who's fang tian?"

Then I realised he was referring to 'fang4 dian4' (to give electricity) in Chinese.

I was so tickled, because Neo, being South African, didn't remember Kym Ng as Kym Ng, but as the celebrity who 'fang dian'..

What happened was, some months ago, we were performing for the NTUC Union May Day Dinner and Kym Ng was the compere.
While we were having our long break, the group of us immediately chorused "Fang Dian!" to Robin when Kym Ng walked past.
Kym Ng responded to our attempt to jisiao Robin. She turned her neck around and battered her eyelids at us. I swear, at that moment, even I was charmed by her sparkly eyes.

Anyway, the gig was a great experience for me.
I thank God for the chance to try so many new things, from the rack, to crosshands etc. The last time I did those two, I screwed up real bad. And I told myself I wanted to be ready for rack and crosshand the next time we perform, but I never knew it would be so soon! But thank God for the anointing for this performance (and many more to come!)

We had a powerful service last Sunday as well.
Even before preaching started, during worship, tears were just flooding my face. (Thank God I didn't put makeup that day)
As we sang, the Lord renewed me with his strength, affirmed me with His words. It was like Him telling me that He has seen my hard work, that He is pleased because I have given Him my youth and laid down my life for Him. I was so touched, because I've been so stretched especially this internship period. The tears just couldn't stop flowing..

The past six months has really been the toughest yet best time of my life..
Shall talk more about this in my next post...