Search engines are the most amazing things that happened.
They allow you to find anything and everything and for all those who blog, be careful of what you write because you'll never know - your boss might just be reading the entry you bitched about him.
Anyway, somebody found my old blog. I read it and found it refreshing that I wrote this in 2004.
"I wonder all the time.. Why? Reality is harsh. Relationships are delicate issues that we all should handle with great care. Emotion is God's wonderful creation, and without that we would be a zombie nation wouldn't we. It is great to love and a joy to care and give your all for somebody you love..But maybe at this point of time God wants me to share my love with others around me, rather than concentrating my 100% on a single person? "
Monday, October 20, 2004 09:56 p.m.
I'm glad that I've thoroughly gotten over the ex.
I'm glad that I no longer cry and get depressed when I watch Smallville or any other teen movies.
I'm glad that I'm healed and living for His purpose!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
He assured me
A beautiful Saturday morning I woke up
Not with a grouch nor with a sigh
I opened my eyes to be greeted by the beauty of His presence in my life
There was no hurry to get to work
There was no alarm to chase me off the bed
Just the sound of the chirping birds
Oh, FOR ONCE I could wake up late!
Out I went, nestled on the cosy sofa
my dad came by to ask me about some stuff
the conversation moved on
he shared with me
The years he's sacrificed to make things happen
The fears he's prevented us from having because he toiled hard to earn
I listened intently
I stared at his wrinkles, admiring
I've never felt so proud of my dad before
I'm sorry dad
I never took the time to hear
After 19 years
I've finally learnt
you're a respectable father, one whom I must cherish.
____________________________________
Just in my last post I mentioned about how much I cried during last week's father's day sermon because I've never felt loved by my dad.
Pastor preached that fathers should give attention, assurance, affection and approval to their child. I was seriously sad that Sunday, after hearing that sermon, because I've not experience any of those from my dad.
BUT the Lord is good, He knows this emptiness in me, and one week later, I find myself having this conversation with my earthly dad. There are so many things that I did not know about.. So much he's given to ensure my siblings and I were brought up well. WOW.
And God really assured my dad's love for me through this one coversation.
LOVE my Heavenly Father and my dad.
Countdown: 13 more weeks to end of internship
Not with a grouch nor with a sigh
I opened my eyes to be greeted by the beauty of His presence in my life
There was no hurry to get to work
There was no alarm to chase me off the bed
Just the sound of the chirping birds
Oh, FOR ONCE I could wake up late!
Out I went, nestled on the cosy sofa
my dad came by to ask me about some stuff
the conversation moved on
he shared with me
The years he's sacrificed to make things happen
The fears he's prevented us from having because he toiled hard to earn
I listened intently
I stared at his wrinkles, admiring
I've never felt so proud of my dad before
I'm sorry dad
I never took the time to hear
After 19 years
I've finally learnt
you're a respectable father, one whom I must cherish.
____________________________________
Just in my last post I mentioned about how much I cried during last week's father's day sermon because I've never felt loved by my dad.
Pastor preached that fathers should give attention, assurance, affection and approval to their child. I was seriously sad that Sunday, after hearing that sermon, because I've not experience any of those from my dad.
BUT the Lord is good, He knows this emptiness in me, and one week later, I find myself having this conversation with my earthly dad. There are so many things that I did not know about.. So much he's given to ensure my siblings and I were brought up well. WOW.
And God really assured my dad's love for me through this one coversation.
LOVE my Heavenly Father and my dad.
Countdown: 13 more weeks to end of internship
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
A Child Lives What He Learns
A Child Lives What He Learns
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns appreciation.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
by Dorothy Law Nolte 1972
I find this poem to be so true, as I observe the upbringings of myself and people around me.
I come under the hostility category.
Pastor shared this poem during Father's Day weekend service last week.
Throughout the sermon, my eyes were wet and I had to keep those wretched tears from rolling down.
I've learnt to fight for what I've wanted.. Was just having a chat with my supervisor this morning
when she asked if my parents spoiled me, since I was the baby of the family.
I went, "No! They didn't let me play basketball, they didn't let me go church, they didn't let me play drums!"
My supervisor, "Yet you did that all!"
Yes, I fought for what I wanted through much tears, screams, beatings etc.
All these also wouldn't have been possible without my sister who has always supported me in everything I've done.
During that Father's Day sermon, Pastor was sharing how one could be a better father.
The more he shared, the more I couldn't control the tears.
The truth is, as a child, there was an unfulfilled need for affection and assurance from my parents.
Through the years, I've grown to take aggresiveness and hostility from my family as a norm.
Not saying that my parents are bad, but as a family, we're so used to hostility that we forget that shouting at each other is rude,
forget that as humans we need words of affirmation etc.
It was probably a good thing that I was brought up in this manner, hence learn to fight for the things I believe in.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have stayed on in church when my mom threatened me or accused me.
Can't imagine what horrrendous stuff I would have fought for if I wasn't in church.
Thank God, for the way He has wired me..that has made me become the person that I am today.
I've become stronger, through it all.
Proverbs 20:30 "Blows that hurt cleanse away evil as do stripes the inner depths of the heart."
Anyway.. I'm just super jealous of this 6-year old kid called Emma..
Her mommy calls her everyday on the phone and tells her she is a good girl when she reads her book, the phone call always ends with "I love you".
I know that things will get better at home.
Monday, June 19, 2006
jules: You want to be with him, don't you?
bestie: I want to be with him so much.. I want everything to go slow... I want us to go slow... so that if we end up together, we'll have all the time in the world..
jules: wow..
__________________________________________
That statement came out so naturally from my friend.. How true it is.
I know of many that get into boy-girl relationships soon after they discover mutual feelings of admiration for each other.
But little did these people also consider that being in a BGR is more than just having someone to cuddle or spend time with.
It's a commitment that says, "Hey.. I'm willing to lay down my life for you."
Yes, it sounds a tad too serious. But I've always believed that when one enters a relationship, he/she should already be thinking about sharing their future together. Otherwise what for be in a relationship?
I've heard too much about guys that want to be in a relationship and yet are not ready to commit themselves.
During the happy times, he whispers sweet nothings.
When he gets too busy, he will be too busy to even reply your sms.
Not having the maturity when confronted, he gets offended easily and starts accusing.
MEN, if you're not even able to control your emotions how can you be a good husband?
Stop being childish, and try to understand your girlfriend/wife when they try to communicate their feelings to you!
When she tells you that some stranger has complimented her, WAKE UP YOUR IDEA and stop thinking that she is interested in that stranger. SHE wants you to be proud of her!
When she asks you why your female friend calls you so late, why do you get agitated?
Where there is no communication, there is no relationship.
Ok this is drifting away from where the post started and I'm getting too angry for my beloveds who are in the above situations.
Anyway. I'm still amazed by the statement my friend made.
bestie: I want to be with him so much.. I want everything to go slow... I want us to go slow... so that if we end up together, we'll have all the time in the world..
jules: wow..
__________________________________________
That statement came out so naturally from my friend.. How true it is.
I know of many that get into boy-girl relationships soon after they discover mutual feelings of admiration for each other.
But little did these people also consider that being in a BGR is more than just having someone to cuddle or spend time with.
It's a commitment that says, "Hey.. I'm willing to lay down my life for you."
Yes, it sounds a tad too serious. But I've always believed that when one enters a relationship, he/she should already be thinking about sharing their future together. Otherwise what for be in a relationship?
I've heard too much about guys that want to be in a relationship and yet are not ready to commit themselves.
During the happy times, he whispers sweet nothings.
When he gets too busy, he will be too busy to even reply your sms.
Not having the maturity when confronted, he gets offended easily and starts accusing.
MEN, if you're not even able to control your emotions how can you be a good husband?
Stop being childish, and try to understand your girlfriend/wife when they try to communicate their feelings to you!
When she tells you that some stranger has complimented her, WAKE UP YOUR IDEA and stop thinking that she is interested in that stranger. SHE wants you to be proud of her!
When she asks you why your female friend calls you so late, why do you get agitated?
Where there is no communication, there is no relationship.
Ok this is drifting away from where the post started and I'm getting too angry for my beloveds who are in the above situations.
Anyway. I'm still amazed by the statement my friend made.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Be Bold, Be Daniel
It's been more than two weeks since I've last written..
For the past weeks, I've been scrambling from place to place, coping with a few hours of sleep daily. The deadly stress infection has since happily peppered themselves over my forehead, forming what u call pimples.
Though it seemed impossible to me when I look back now, but YES, I have survived and EMERGED stronger.
By His grace, these things happened in the last two weeks:
- I managed to put together an appreciation dinner for my Singapore Youth Science Festival committee, after tedious negotiations for venue and gifts. They loved the location and the food.
My supervisor and GM were pleased..
- Perform different 6 sequences for launch of sports beverage, Activade. Out of which the six, three I've never done in my life. It was totally a miracle for me to have even memorised these in the midst of my busy schedule, but thank God, the gig turned out well.
- Chiong all the sessions for Emerge! (except for one which I woke up late, that is)
Also honoured to play on the new UDMs for the opening and finale night...
Beyond the colorful lights and water that supposedly make us look good or "glam", we were not there just to perform, nor to hype up the congregation. We were really there, as ministers to the congregation. It was not about the strokes, nor how good everything looked, it was the spirit that we carried, the spirit of joy and passion, the spirit of God, most importantly.
______________________________________________
Emerge was awesome.
Pastor has never failed to shock us again and again, and this time I was really shocked when Kelly Poon was introduced on stage. Then Junyang, then TAUFIK!!!
Taufik was ssooooooo HAWT. urhm. ok sidetrack.
yeap. you're reading this right. They performed at church.
For the religious, this would be totally ridiculous.
For the Elohim-spirit(creative spirit) led, this was a bold move that worked wondrous ways.
On one hand, it was an opportunity that these celebrities would be open to the house of God and experience the goodness in it.
On the other, it was a reminder/inspiration to the congregation that with His word and Him, we're even able to even do exceedingly, above what these celebrities have done.
God has given this church the vision to be in the marketplace, and the leaders have taken many shockingly bold steps in the course of following this vision. Steps that risk controversy, steps that many rather avoid to accomodate to the standards of the world. I'm so proud of them.
________________________________________________
For the past weeks, I've been scrambling from place to place, coping with a few hours of sleep daily. The deadly stress infection has since happily peppered themselves over my forehead, forming what u call pimples.
Though it seemed impossible to me when I look back now, but YES, I have survived and EMERGED stronger.
By His grace, these things happened in the last two weeks:
- I managed to put together an appreciation dinner for my Singapore Youth Science Festival committee, after tedious negotiations for venue and gifts. They loved the location and the food.
My supervisor and GM were pleased..
- Perform different 6 sequences for launch of sports beverage, Activade. Out of which the six, three I've never done in my life. It was totally a miracle for me to have even memorised these in the midst of my busy schedule, but thank God, the gig turned out well.
- Chiong all the sessions for Emerge! (except for one which I woke up late, that is)
Also honoured to play on the new UDMs for the opening and finale night...
Beyond the colorful lights and water that supposedly make us look good or "glam", we were not there just to perform, nor to hype up the congregation. We were really there, as ministers to the congregation. It was not about the strokes, nor how good everything looked, it was the spirit that we carried, the spirit of joy and passion, the spirit of God, most importantly.
______________________________________________
Emerge was awesome.
Pastor has never failed to shock us again and again, and this time I was really shocked when Kelly Poon was introduced on stage. Then Junyang, then TAUFIK!!!
Taufik was ssooooooo HAWT. urhm. ok sidetrack.
yeap. you're reading this right. They performed at church.
For the religious, this would be totally ridiculous.
For the Elohim-spirit(creative spirit) led, this was a bold move that worked wondrous ways.
On one hand, it was an opportunity that these celebrities would be open to the house of God and experience the goodness in it.
On the other, it was a reminder/inspiration to the congregation that with His word and Him, we're even able to even do exceedingly, above what these celebrities have done.
God has given this church the vision to be in the marketplace, and the leaders have taken many shockingly bold steps in the course of following this vision. Steps that risk controversy, steps that many rather avoid to accomodate to the standards of the world. I'm so proud of them.
________________________________________________
15 weeks to end of attachment
This link is for the coverage of the National Youth Leaders Conference (previous post.)http://youth.sg/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=794&Itemid=28
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