the pain opened my eyes

Incident on 23 Sep 06, ard 230am.

It's been a long day, a long week
I stretched my body, snuggled warm in bed
time for rest, i fell, to appease my lethargy
as I barely caught that forty winks
a sharp pain came from inside of me
Sullen, I scrambled to the WC

A false alarm for diarrhoea it turned out
I barged back to my blankets half drowsy half grumpy
To my exasperation, the pain would not cease

In the midst of it, it appears a creepy crawlie got me
I itched and twitched and couldn't stop scratching
To the WC again, I washed the itch
Now the pain was gone, but the itch wouldn't cease!

Infuriated, I took a deep breath
I found my breath accompanied with an asthmatic wheeze
My nostrils were congested
My ears were burning
My heart raced

I paced calmly to the mirror
Propagating around my eyes were rashes resembling insect bites

I looked at my arms and legs
The outbreak of rashes was all over me

I need the doctor
I need prayers
I need to cry
I need GOD!!!!!

I prayed, without a voice, just wheezes

"Was I going to die?"
"Is it a terminal disease?"
"Is this the end of the many things I have to do?"
"How am I going to turn up for the photoshoot tomorrow?"
"Does this mean I can't go back to work on Monday?"
"Does this mean I can't perform?"

ARGH.

I called my leader at 240am
He answered, in a drowsy fashion
He prayed for me and asked me to wake my parents.

I did.

To CGH I went.
2 jabs was what they gave me
I slept, while my mother stayed awake
After a 2 hour nap, I was awakened by the freezing coldness

the rash was gone
the asthmatic wheeze was gone
the burning sensation was gone
the pain was gone

the nurse, without a wink said,
"Miracle ah. Ok can go home."

I couldn't wait to get home.


The question remains
What resulted in this crazy episode
Which got me annoyed and fearful
Which made me learn to be more careful
Which taught me to love the people around me,
for God has made them so wonderful

_______________________________________________________________

This was what happened to me.
I was freaked out like nothing.
I wanna thank Jimmy for answering my call and praying for me though he was asleep, thank Jennifer for calming me down, thank my mom for going to the hospital with me. AND my Strikeforce friends who visited me!

I was so touched and shocked to see you guys --
Shona, Benedict, Reid, Ian, Sharlyn, Jennifer, Suat, Alvin, Kangwei, Queelam..!
I hope I didn't miss out anybody.

It was quite saddening I couldn't make it for the photoshoot, but nonetheless, it warms my heart to be in this family.

We're not just a percussion group
We're not just ministry mates
We're not just a bunch of people with similar interests
We're committed to a common vision
Bound together by the love of Christ
Working towards a higher calling
We're one family
One Band
One Sound
StrikeForce

Reset

I must Realign my life
Renew my mind
Stop Recycling futile thoughts
Stop Rehearsing abandoned hurts

The Lord has Redeemed me
Removed all sin and condemnation

my spirit was dead, but now Resurrected
He breathed into me, Restored my life
I'm now Reconciliated with Christ

Regression dies, as I live upon His word
I entrust myself to His work of Regeneration
Together we'll bring forth Revolution

Bee the best you can Bee

Watched Akeelah and the Bee today with my cell. Motivating movie.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Though I was already impacted when I read this statement before in Ian's blog some months ago, it did not make me feel I have to do something about it until now. I've been busy... so busy that I've become complacent. I've stopped thinking about achieving the best, most of the time getting by the numerous activities each day. Today, when I heard this statement on the movie again, there was a push from the Holy Spirit.

Why, why have I stepped back? Why have I not given my best? Is it because there is a fear that when you do so, people will look at you in a different way?

But truely, as the quote says, "Who are you not to be?"
We are to "walk worthily of God, who (has already called) you into his own Kingdom and glory" (1 Thess 2:12)

We strive, not so that we may get the approval of men, but we are living vessels for Him.
1 Thessalonians 2:4
"But even as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News, so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, who tests our hearts."

I remember Bro Boon once challenged us to be one who constantly gets the "Since when?" question from others.
"Since when you became such a great performer?"
"Since when you became so wise?"
"Since when you became so excellent in the things you do?"
"Since when you became a leader?"
"Since when..Since when?"

There is a need to constantly stretch our limits, to break into the realm of the "once-impossible".
There is a need to constantly renew our minds, in order to move from glory to glory.

Horacio Hernandez Drum Clinic

By the end of the drum clinic, I must say I was quite disappointed. Unlike the other clinics that I've been to, this one only had the star solo once. (if I didn't remember wrongly, A REAL SOLO solo that is)
Though it may be so, like what Bro Boon said, Horacio did more teaching than "showing off" at this clinic, which I appreciate so.
Kinda useful, incorporating playing of rhumba claves in 4/4 timing and 6/8 timing.
At the end of the show he started playing this instrument, which when he played, it almost appeared to be punching buttons on a SEGA gameboy.
This instrument was once a dear to the late Bob Marley and it produces high pitched melodious tones, perfect for lullabies. It was wonderful watching him and hearing him play that "M-Bira" (dont know how to spell), but I was expecting him to stomp away on the set after that. And it didn't happen. So the drum clinic ended like this, peacefully.......

Out at the signing table, he was super friendly.. a few of my friends even asked him to sign their equipment. For Remo, Vic-Firth etc, He actually cancelled off the branding and wrote on Evans and Zildjian. That was so funny, but he was kind enough to sign them.

This is the first time I didn't bring anything home from a clinic - no ticket stubs/photos/collaterals. Too crowded I guess.

Anyway I took photo with Ling outside DBS auditorium...We realised that our colors were really coordinated. haha..




Black and Purple. Ian just looks lame here.

this is niceeee, but we didn't know Ian and ruyuan were in the pic until later.. Benedict said:"ruyuan looks like a cardboard cutout... "


hahaha so funny...

a new beginning

my heart feels heavy
my eyes are stinging red
my mouth's open, but I don't know what to say
i don't wanna feel this way

stoned when i'm alone
wild when you're around
but it wouldn't make a difference soon
just let this be an open wound

I've fallen carelessly
my utmost wish, to present myself with entire honesty
i know the Lord's here to protect me
the past has gone, but this is indeed a new beginning.

Steve Irwin died

It happened around Aus time 11am today..
I salute his passion, boldness, courage, energy and everything that he ever was.

click to read story.