Identity crisis

I feel so small

amongst the sea of strange faces

smiles were everywhere

exchanges of compliments and handshakes

mingling around with drinks and their cakes

I was just a fly buzzing past their sight

they came together for a good cause

the rich, the elites, the execs

showing their support to change the world, it seemed

in fact, it was work obligation that roped them in

the clock struck 12

the aristocrat crowd dispersed in an instant

I stood there

still feeling small

Welcome to the real world

####

Lord, help me grow up

I'm not a kid no more

But the Lord said to me: "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak.

The Scarlet, boutique hotel

The first week of my attachment has been quite alright... other than having problems to wake up early and having to deal with an identity crisis.

Official time for work is 7:45am - 5:15pm, but working hours can extend beyond that depending on whether you get your work done.

I'm not just a kid now, I'm not just a student, I'm an adult, I'm a PR person for *****. It got me really stressed up knowing that there are various events coming up that I would have to organise.... and ***** being a huge MNC gets approached for many sponsorship requests...I would have to reject these, some of which seem desperate to me.

But I know it's gonna be fun!
Going out to events and meeting BIG people.
Scary.

Gotta stretch my mind and think myself in terms of the bigger picture....

We had department lunch at The Scarlet on Wed....
It's the most wonderful place I've ever been to!
The place is red and black and all velvety!

We stood at the door, and this man opened it, for a moment I thought it was Count Dracula.

He is huge and very tall, dressed in a long trenchcoat.

"Hi y'all", he said.

I stepped into the lobby and my eyes opened wide. "I love this place, it's red and black", I chirped. In the lounge area divided into portions with different themes, there were huge vintage armchairs and florrid deco.

We were transported to another world. You feel sensuality oozing from the atmosphere surrounding.

It was a set lunch $28 per person, paid by the company.

The food was really good, appetiser/soup, main course and dessert.

But too bad I didn't take any pictures of any.

And I lou-saied the next day, green yucky stuff. My colleagues didn't though.

The toilet was pretty.

If anyone has money lying around looking to pamper yourself or family or friend(s), this is the place.

http://www.thescarlethotel.com/#

Got the pictures off their website.

SERIOUSLY, the pictures don't tell alot. You have to be there to experience it.

It's a haven to feel pampered.

Have you seen her

her jet black tresses fall upon those delicate shoulders
like rippling waves, they frame her fair face
in heels and skirt
she walks the streets
many strange eyes are entranced by her beauty

Nobody sees her
Nobody hears

exuding innocence and elegance
she takes dainty steps
beyond the placid disposition
those beaming eyes across the porcelain complexion
they tell a story

Yet nobody sees
Nobody hears

their eyes are on her
but has anybody seen

the scars she suffered
in her tender heart
on her slender wrists
Dejection has long killed her
its the empty shell they see


will you be the one to bring her hope
or will you judge her like everybody else
Bring her back to arms of her loving Father

Have you seen her?
Have you heard?

_______________________________________________

This is dedicated to my friend.

There are many people around us who appear to be happy and doing well. However, many of these people have unmet needs or even major problems in their lives.

Sad to say, these people might be people we meet everyday, in school, at work, or even our family members. Who would have known that behind the shenanigans of the class joker, there are struggles from a broken family; that behind the hard-driven cheerleading star, there are depression issues from an abusive relationship?

Pst Tan preached a great sermon today! I was really stirred up.
All of us are indeed one body and we're created with different personalities for a reason.

Anyway, thanks for the concern about my wound everybody!
I removed the stitches this morning, thank God it did not hurt at all!

Praying for miracle healing, for the scar to go away and hair to grow back on my brow!

3 stitches in my eyebrow

I've never seen so much blood in my hands before.

The dent on my forehead, did I break my skull?
No I can't let it bleed anymore.
Did the impact affect my eyesight?
I looked ahead, my vision was clear.
I need an ambulance. I need to get home. My parents need to know.

I walked.
The two men were having a chat at the void deck. They looked at me as I walked past with my right hand pressing on my temple.
Don't look at my bloody mess, I thought in my heart.
Somebody please bring me home now.
A malay couple walked past me... I turned back..holding my wound in grimace
"Excuse me, can you please bring me to my home..I live on the 8th storey?"

The lady took my arm and held me as her boyfriend walked ahead swiftly.

They asked me if I was beaten up.

"No...I fell."

My heart raced with my feet down the steps as we approached my unit.

"Mom. I fell down and am bleeding. Need to go hospital."

Her answers were the most perplexing shouts and screams you wouldn't want to hear at 1am, especially when you have a bleeding head.

I thanked the Malay couple briefly and they left.

(in Mandarin)"Don't play drums anymore, so many things've happened since u play drums."

My heart burned with frustration.. "Please bring me to the hospital now."

She was flustered... went to the kitchen, brought me a few pieces of cotton.

So we went.

I was calm and knew what to do until her repeated accusations made tears surface.
It's not the drums.

I went ahead and made registration at the counter.. and there it goes.. the long wait at the hospital before treatment.

I just needed to rant and cry.

I blamed myself for being careless.
The funny thing is that I knew I shouldn't have gone out. There was no peace in my heart. Even when we got on the train, there was something in me that asked me to go home and not hang out. Despite the turmoil in my heart, I decided to defy it and go anyway.

And another thing is, I met my 14 year old niece in the morning and happened to look at her scar below the eyebrow and wondered to myself how she got it.

So now I know, that was the Holy Spirit speaking and telling me not to hang out. I chose to disobey it and with that I had to bear the consequences of a broken eyebrow.

Lord, I thank You for Your protection, that I didn't suffer a broken skull or injure my eyes.

e269, thanks for your concern and praying in the middle of the night when u heard about my accident.

Mom Dad, thanks for going to hospital with me and staying with me until 4am.

Kaili, thanks for hearing me rant and comforting me on the phone during my long wait at the hospital.

The malay couple, thanks for bringing me home..I can't imagine what would have happened if I met some crook.


Will need to go to polyclinic everyday to dress the wound.. and the stitches would be removed on Saturday.

No more nice eyebrows my mom said.

Jehovah Jireh, My Provider

I got posted to Shell for my attachment!
I didn't expect it, especially after I seemingly screwed up the interview.
I heard guffaws as I stepped out of the external affairs department when my interview ended and I was like, that's it, I'm definitely not gonna get into Shell.
But Praise God..I got through!

Reporting time for first day of work 10 April at Shell Towers UE Square is 745am.
I need a wake up call, seriously.

Does anybody want a job doing admin and can commit for 1 - 2 months or even longer?

I've been working at Symantec for the past two weeks and the HR staff told me that they need 2 - 3 people...probably to replace my position. Though it was boring brainless stuff like printing, photocopying, scanning, stapling and DE-stapling and the likes...throw in some msn, talkative colleagues and an office full of tidbits... it becomes like a primary school party. hahaha.

Thank God for the provision for the job because I didn't even go look for it.
My good friend Ally happened to land herself an interview at my sister's company and mentioned me..and the boss remembered me and asked me to go work with her!
Though this meant no rest before my attachment starts, I could not resist the offer because it was a great chance to work with my friend and get to know her all over again after we took our separate paths from secondary school.

Lovely.

So I've got Symantec and Shell on my resume now.
God is good man!