I took leave today to study for my upcoming paper on 7 April. I'm running out of time, the next time I can study will the 2 days in the coming weekend!
And here I am, taking a break. Looking back at my blogposts, they have become less frequent. Things have changed over the years, from the secondary school student that I was when I started blogging in 2003. I still spend time online, but find lesser inspiration to write. I browsed through and counted, from 2003 to 2007, I wrote 39 poems and one short story. That is not alot - it pales in comparison with a friend that has at least 100(I think) in his collection, but I often wonder, how is it possible that I lost the flair all of a sudden? In this almost one-year hiatus, I no longer have overwhelming emotions about issues that would make me express myself in poetry, which was the case in the past.
Have I become oblivious to life? Have I become lukewarm to the people around me? Maybe I grew out of the emo teen who was full of angst. Or am I too caught up with things going on? I used to write about dreams, hopes, surviving from the past, when I feel burdened about people, but now.. it did not occur to me that I've stopped "feeling" and "imagining", since I stopped writing (not reporting about events).
It was in the writings that I learnt my true self, that I discovered a way of escape, and it was where I found hope and encouragement.
I want to feel, imagine, and write again.
Monday, March 31, 2008
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6 comments:
haha oh man, somehow i've fallen into the same boat as you - the boat of unreleased creativity. =P
i used to write long stories whether is it about battling zombies, about superheroes fighting to save the world, love stories for teens, war stories, etc.. in fact, during army i had an ongoing online story in the forum which had about a few hundred visits a day, and people requesting for me to include them in the story! (it was based on my army friends and about counter terrorists' lives.)
but nowadays i just don't have the inspiration to write.
my so-called fans of my works have forgotten their roles in the stories, although a few of them do bug me to finish my stories once in awhile. yes, i've only done like, 3 completed ones, the others are more or less completed but some are only parts of stories and I gave up halfway, ran out of ideas or ran out of energy to write. sad huh?
i even used to write songs and letters to God and kept it in my drawer or on my blog. over time, i wrote less and less.
that's why Ian's blog does encourage me sometimes. haha.
don't lose the passion to write. i always thought those stories were a waste of time, until i realised, those stories were my practice for writing contracts, agreements, legal opinions. i learnt to be detailed, not forgetting the characters' personality, different perspective of situations in the story, how to link seperate events and how the reader would like the story to end.
just like in the working world, i need to be detailed in drafting documents, aware of the different needs of clients, crafting my language so that it best expresses my interests to reach my goals and how to link several contracts into the big picture.
then i realised God is amazing, He prepares you for something, and sometimes without you even knowing it! Common grace at work? Perhaps, but I still perfer to call it amazing grace.
- ww
Hi I read your poem (refuse to) communicate. This is a contrast =)
As time would pass, words are naught
Weary, unspoken, troubling or not
And always words do not matter
Compared to the beats and flutters of their hearts
She may prefer minimal talking
And so does one who suffers in silence,
But the love that fuels all things good,
Will remain unspoken but shown forever.
The pain of rejection shall remain as fear
And communication may live no longer
But the thoughts and truth and mind and love
Will leave no space for more errors.
Even so she may have tried and even so he may have tried
And though she walks away with head hanged low
That does not mean it stops forever
For the only pain that will sear on with time
Is the hurt knowing I never tried harder.
Hi read he'll never know. This is again a contrast. =)
His eyes had sparkled in the dark
Enchanting her heart and she knew it as much
He looked at her face at her beautiful smile
What she’ll never know is she made him sparkle.
His moments of humour made him so happy
Hearing her laughter was what kept him going
Her actions are etched in every bit of his heart
But the things he does will never matter.
Not that she does not care,
Nor does it matter
For one thing is for sure,
That she’ll never know he would never stop giving forever.
“The one thing I love, is knowing you’ll never stop trying, and that has made me never give up on you”
Her words deep in his heart
He would remember as he clutched his hands
Sad to say that in this case would never be
She’ll never know how much he would yearn to hold her
She’ll never know how her scent lingers in his mind
She’ll never know how lonely he’ll be
She’ll never know he would stay on for all time
She’ll never know that he cries all night
She’ll never know he drinks and smokes till thy kingdom come
For all on her mind is that he never knows…
Domentaius
Hey Domentaius
Thanks! were these existing poems or you wrote them after reading mine?
Its really good.
Both poems were written as a result by real-life events in my life:
(refuse to) communicate was about two situations that gone through the same problems, between a separated couple and between my mom and I.
I like this line: "But the thoughts and truth and mind and love
Will leave no space for more errors" It does not just contrasts what I written, but is sorta the answer to my poem.
he'll never know was really about me having a crush about a good friend, which remained as a crush. (Having said that, I've moved on and am happily with the love of my life)
It's great to see a male's point of view in the initial stages of love.
Domentaius, thanks again.
Hope we could catch up on MSN or facebook..
Cheers
Julia
Added you Julia (=
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