Psalms 139:1-6
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
I tried sharing this with a few people and I had to hold back tears.. because I am so touched by God.
Recently, I had a job prospect that requires major use of Mandarin. Having passed the first interview, I was informed to go for second round of interview (it would be this coming Fri).
I didn't do very well for the first round, in fact I failed miserably when I tried to converse with the interviewer in Mandarin; I barely completed two sentences.
I decided I needed to prepare for the second round with list of potential questions & answers.
As I prepared, I thought they might ask about my views about China. It dawned upon me that I had essays written during secondary school on China. I went through my cabinet of books and files to find my Chinese Essay exercise books, and thought in my head, "Who would have known I would have use of these essays?!"
The search was a little disappointing..until I found scraps of exercise sheets torn off from the books. I flipped through, it was collection of Mandarin journals and essays －周记 & 作文。I was quite surprised, these essays and reflections scored 70-80 marks. And then something struck me when I came to this essay titled, "My ideal occupation" or “我理想的职业” . Guess what, at 14 or 15 years old, I wrote:
"My ideal occupation would be a down-to-earth missionary with a big heart that serves God........"
When I read this line, I could not remember if this was a reflective essay or just imaginative. I read on.. it elaborated on how I would make a difference and help the lives of many. It went on to explain why I had such motivation to serve God..:
"Because of how I've experienced God's perfect love, I can't wait to show His goodness to the world. In the past, I lived in days of despondency, bitterness, depression, and nobody could help. I could only wallow in alcohol and cigarettes, as if they could chase away my frustrations."
At this point, God's presence filled the room. I was so touched, tears rolled down my cheeks.
I wrote that essay in my early teens, and I had not tried cigarettes or alcohol. Yet, years after, reading in my essay now, it was like God had used my essay to prophesy and ministering to me now.
Yes, I did cigarettes and alcohol some time back. But back then in my teens, how was I to know that one day I would pick up these vices and then finally read the Chinese essay that I written?
God is good. Our all-knowing God knows me so well, that back then when I was doing this essay, He was already using me to write words that would eventually serve as future encouragement to myself. Amazing.
