Pursue the future, moving on from the past

Exams are finally over!!
And I wouldn't have to touch those textbooks until at least September!

Weeeee.
Attachment is starting on April 10.
This means I have about 6 weeks of break!

And the meeting with Ps Ulf really came in time, to define my vision for the future.
Thank God I went for all three days, because He preached about calling on the last day.

It was tremendous, by the end of the meeting, tears ran down my face like a trickling watertap, dripping and wetting the chair in front of me.

I should let neither circumstances, finances, fear nor inadequacies get in the way of pursuing His calling.

I'm excited for this journey ahead.

Time to recharge my life, power up and serve my cellgroup more.
AND time to play drums!

_____________________________________________

Well anyway, I found something that brought me a smile while tidying my room.

This is written in my journal to my teacher when I was in sec 1 in 2000, and the topic was "Two things I've gained(since entering sec school)"

........"I also gained basketball skills, discipline and integrity. When I mean discipline, I meant that I have to learn to stop talking so much in class during lessons because I was caught "talking" during Mdm Cheng's lesson. We were having Chinese spelling and after that we had exchanged papers to mark, so I exchanged with Alison. Alison's paper was full of mistakes and (...) so she asked me if she had failed as we passed back the papers. At that moment, Mdm Cheng (became furious and) asked to go out of the classroom. Then she asked us to meet her at the staff room during recess. Both our names were highlighted in pink on the class list and she warned us that if we did that again, she will request for us to be suspended from basketball. I love basketball very much, so I cannot bear to leave it. ......."

And that resulted in quite a big understanding because we thought that our Chinese teacher were biased against basketball girls.
and there goes...."Oh...those were the days."
Miss training with them. Miss running up and down the stairs. Miss queueing at the water cooler. Miss changing from school shoes to basketball shoes after school. Miss putting hands together before matches to shout, "Sheng Zhong, OuuuSh!"
Miss the 2-1-2, 1-4, 3-2, 1-1-3 blaaah formations. LOL.
Miss the girls.
All the best to those collecting A level results on Wed!

Time to study for exams once again.

Click here to read what I wrote last August. One of the lamest thing I've ever written as I was procrastinating to study.


GOTTA FOCUSSSSSSSSSSS

Chinese Newswriting
20 Feb 2006 14:30-16:30
Cross Cultural Communication
22 Feb 2006 09:30 11:30
Multi-Media & Electronic Publishing
23 Feb 2006 09:30 11:30

Love, not just for lovers.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

Valentine's Day, as much as it seems to be a commercial strategy invented by the scheming marketeers, people still come together to celebrate their love and appreciation for one another...
You don't have to be attached or go for candlelit dinners to be involved in Vday, for the rest of us who are single and carefree, we should show love and concern to the people around us!
_____________________________________________________________
Just felt let to write about this issue, which I've been pondering on for quite some time. This post is abit too cutesy for my liking, but I guess adding some pictures would liven up the reading a lil.

Not everybody is easily love-able or like-able, like your really tactful Hello Kitty without a mouth,



or your Mickey mouse, whose ears are always open so wide to hear you...

There are definitely times when you get offended by somebody's insensitive comments, irritated by one who has crossed over the boundaries, annoyed by another's know-it-all attitude, disappointed by a particular person's decisions...etc.


But we have to forgive, still.

We are to "be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of (our) love". (Eph 4:2)

We are all debtors of love.
And by holding a grudge towards a person, you can grieve the Holy Spirit.

"Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit and bind yourselves together with peace."Eph 4:3

Especially in church, we are one body, and in order for breakthrough to happen, we must be of one mind, one Spirit.

As imperfect humans, we might still continue to see the faults in the person who offended us and think about how they should do this or that...even thoughts like "Call yourself a Christian!" might run through our minds.

Remember Mt 7:3 "Why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?"

We're not to play Holy Spirit, but as we continue to judge ourselves and renew our thoughts and attitudes(Eph 4:23), we are able to grow to be more mature sons and daughters of God, and eventually measure up to the full stature of Christ.

Eph 4:16 "As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts to grow."

As leaders, we are to walk in the light and lead by example.
As we fine-tune our own character, let the Spirit within us influence the people around.

Ephesians 6:12
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

after reading all these, it might still be hard to forgive and forget.

Hold on,

Phil 2:13 (NLT)
"For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and power to do what He pleases."

You can forgive and forget, if you choose to.

chapalang

isn't fitri sweet haha.. he made this with batteries

Ooh I finally got my drums back!!!
But I can't play yet.. Aloy's got my bass drum until march 12.
urggggh i miss playing..


Meanwhile this is the video I made for my project.

It was a one man show (if you don't count the talent in the vid that is)
I did all filming, editing, animation, blah. All those nights spent in school.
Not very well done, due to lack of time and having to juggle between the many deadlines, Chingay practices and cellgroup stuff..

Nevertheless, I shall share this. (PLEASE ON YOUR SPEAKERS BEFORE PRESSING PLAY)

Celest, enjoy watching yourself...

Strikeforce at Chingay in Chinese

Muuahahaha... I wrote this for my Chinese Newswriting feature article. I got an A for it!! Lol. Despite the lack of use of Chinese... Thank God. Hehe. Read it! Improve your chinese!!!

(click for better view)

the One

Took some time to pray and worship during the Chinese New Year period...
I was worshipping on the guitar and this song came out.. I grabbed my pen and recorded down.
Simple song, but it's really meaningful to me.

Enjoy. (click on picture for better view)

More heavenly songs to come!

Chingay is finally over!

It was a great show, all glory unto Him!

Despite a horrendous performance on the full dress rehearsal on Friday, God turned things around and rained anointing on us on the actual day for Chingay.

Moments to remember...

human flocks running for shelter during the frequent seizures of showers

UDM (ultimate drum machine) toppling over while Nick was deeply immersed playing his cross hands strokes at the climax of the performance

the cursed 4 injuries-in-a-row on 3rd day of CNY

1 - And - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and - 5 - and - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and - 5 - and - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and........

the prata eating sessions at Iman (Yawn.)

the hair-raising experience when Michelle broke her egg yolk before my eyes. *vomit*

my few seconds of fame on National TV

the many shocked-and-at-a-loss-for-word-half-jaw-dropping faces when Bro Boon said sternly after the performance, "Guys...What were you doing....(tension arose. silent confusion.)...YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME!" the silence broke into intense cheers and joyful laughs instantaneously!

the bonding of relationships amongst Strikeforce members through the trainings, setting up and dismantling of equipments, perspirations, tears, comparing of OR-CHEhs (bruises), the jokes and hysterical screams, the frustrations and the overcoming.....

AND MORE.

Loveeeeee Strikeforce.
__________________________________


Hallelujah! 3 performances in 3 days.
As I thought about it, God really is using us to make a difference in our community. As we performed, I looked at the fascinated faces in the crowds before me..
There we were playing, displaying what we've acquired after months of training. It was a trying time for many of us, juggling between various commitments, but as we availed ourselves to practice and honour the gifts that He has given, what we've sowed has indeed bore forth fruits...

And these audiences, the president, the prime minister, the people at Orchard Rd or AngMoKio, or those watching TV at home, whether they like it or not, when they cheered for us, they were cheering for God's masterpiece!


I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT STRIKEFORCE GIG.

the years of my childhood

A child I was, I grew up in my own world
Playmates I had, but I was still a loner
My 3 siblings were never there to play with me
In their metamorphical early adult years they were when I was born

I've always felt small everywhere I go

Toys I had many
Cars, soldiers, dolls
Guns, figurines, balls
Almost had 'em all
but playing was rare
my mom was afraid I scratched the marble floor
was afraid to spoil me if she brought me outdoors

primary school started
I didn't need to play at home anymore

Across the fields I'd run
to chase malay boys and play games
while the other girls were mingling, having their recess
Met new friends, they were cool to hang out with
I was envious they could play at playgrounds without parents yelling
I'd make up stories about libraries and projects
avoiding to go home early so that i could make merry

my mom hated my friends
whatever i wanted she hated

The caning stick was a common sight
running around the house, I screamed and cried
Under the bed I'd hide
I could never escape the terrors of that wretched stick
My tears,my only companion in the loneliest night

Is there any formula to make me grow up, fast?

Reluctantly, I bid my primary schoolmates well
off to Anglican High, my dream school as a child
The canings and verbal hurts remained
but I've found closer friends and a new love - basketball
We'd train and laugh, the times quickly passed.
Reality broke when I heard her holler once again

I didn't understand why

At 10, she wouldn't let me join brownies
At 11, she scolded me when I practised badminton
Through my teenage years, she resented me for playing basketball.
I felt restrained, lost, I would never ever live doing what I love

At 13, I met the Lord through a song
He showed me that my life meant more than what it seemed
I am imperfect but He loves me still
I am an ignorant child but He told me He is real

It hurt me the most when she called me a fool

I pursued on for the truth
He revealed even more while she remained aloof
Strength imparted, His mercy healed me
Through the criticisms I shall remain unfazed
With grace I shall love her

Indeed I'm a fool, a fool for Christ
I now live for His purpose
I now live for His people

God is good, I now have a new toy! The drums. hahaha.

The song that touched me is below.

SO YOU WOULD COME (thanks to guitar4christ.com)

BEFORE THE WORLD BEGIN

YOU WERE ON HIS MIND
AND EVERY TEAR YOU CRIED
IS PRECIOUS IN HIS EYES
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON

EVERY THING WAS DONE

SO YOU WOULD COME

NOTHING YOU CAN DO
TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE
AND NOTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE
COULD MAKE HIM CLOSE THE DOOR
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GIVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERY THING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

COME TO THE FATHER
THOUGH YOUR GIFT IS SMALL
BROKEN HEARTS, BROKEN LIVES
HE WILL TAKE THEM ALL

THE POWER OF THE WORD
THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

I was reminded of this song and all the emotions that I had when I heard this when I was 13 came alive again...Though at that time I already heard the songs a few times before, but somehow it spoke to me because I never felt that important in my life until I sang "EVERY THING WAS DONE, SO YOU WOULD COME". During my growing years, I used to resent my life...and wished it ended but as I continued to sing that song God painted a joyous picture of my family and the heavens celebrating when I was born.. Wow... and the tears flowed as I felt His love overwhelm me, telling me that I could come to Him no matter how broken I was. That day, Aug 13 2000, I officially became a Christian.

Chingay Full dress rehearsal 21 Jan

the girlies

hey they left me out in this spicegirls shot. haha..

Chingay Full dress rehearsal!

make up too thick!!! eeeew.

jules.jenn.joy.karen

peggie and her nice hair she went home on the train with.

drumwall twins.

All my Springs are found in You

All my Springs are found in You
Every breath, You are the air
Every step, You motivate
Every laughter
its because You're here
Every work accomplished
I give thanks to Your power unleashed

On the cross, You sacrificed
Your life ended so that I can have mine
All my Springs are found in You
The Source that I return to

_______________________

was praying last night and the Spirit led me to write this after reading Ps 87.

Psalms 87:7
Both the singers an players on the instruments say, "All my springs are found in You."

Though as a musician we usually focus on skills, but indeed it is not about how skilled we are, but its about the spirit that we carry. It is not by human strength, not by might, but by the denial of self and glorification unto the Lord.

Release the joy within and perform our hearts out!
______________________

super super super tight

a greater capacity to handle these

I need

a miracle

strength

alertness

grace

anointing

peace

Deadlines

20Jan : 1 4-pg newspaper

26Jan : 1 radio programme

01Feb: 1 multimedia music video

06Feb: 1 single camera film

06Feb: 1 crosscultural website

03 - 04 Feb: Chingay '06 ---- means training almost every night til then.

28 - 31 Jan: CNY '06 ---- means no work can be done.

My only free time daily is that 4 hours of sleep..but it is indeed a privilege to play for Chingay...and it is one of the things I look forward to daily.
Let the joy of the Lord be my strength.

A stranger

it was many years before
you caught my sight at the lift landing floor
i didn't know you then
but a tingling inside wanting to see you more
a stranger, probably i won't see again

weeks and months past
a cute stranger encounter left at that
with greater responsibilities to take
discovering a destiny meant days are simply activity-packed
a stranger, just one of the many strangers that i met

pursuing on to the ultimate goal
more of my time I give to God
He opened doors to what I've desired for
a place He promised me my destiny
but here, i also see a face...isn't that?
a stranger, have I met you before?

my heart my soul my all, to focus on Him I must
every distraction away it shall be cast!
the tingling returned
wait a minute, it was
that stranger, the impression did last!
UrghhhH! Can i please get you off my mind?!

Oh Lord, help me stay focused
You are my first love and always will
Let your will be done
for that was a stranger
a stranger, i shall admire from afar

Simple Plan Needs Jesus

haha.. I came across this while being distracted from writing my cross cultural journals. This song is by Because We're Loved. Title : Simple Plan Needs Jesus. [no kiddingsss!!!] I was chuckling to myself when I saw this because I've always thought that they were lame.

download the song here or here.

Stop complaining, we're all tired of your whining
We do enough ourselves and don't need more from you
Your life's not what you make it seem
Thousands of fans and a hit CD
And there's more on the way or that's what they say
You know it's hard to feel sorry for you
When you're doing what so many kids want to
Whoa, whoa, give us good news
Whoa give us some good news
'Cause we all get a little bumped and bruised
But that doesn't mean that we all lose
And you're right, tomorrow won't be better
If everyone had a life like yours seems
You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't
Tell us anything good
Maybe that would be a refreshing change
That car, your test, you can't blame those on anyone else

When you wake up each morning and see the sun
do you think about all that the father has done?

the drippy diaries

this is the air I breathe
warm humidity lingers
particles, pollens, they are the floaters
the dusty and nasty
irritants that make my voice husky
my nose becomes haughty
it denies air entry
drip...drip..dripadrip
i'm now in a frantic
where are the tissues that my mom keep?!
drip...drip..dripadrip

AHH CHOOO~!

It's mucus out in a heap. =S
_____________________________________________________

I started out the first line wanting to write something inspirational, but this came out instead. Haha..oh well.. I get cold attacks pretty often. But I shall not confess negatively! This year, my health will get better!

More pictures from Thanksgiving cellgroup.

me and my cell leader, Bro Simon Peter.

the messy scene before it all started, getting ready the talents and props.

Chuck and Cheese in her favourite pose.

presenting to you Ella! poor Irwin had to put on make up.. haha

last but not least, me and sharon with our prizes. Cheers!

Happy New Year

It's the first post of 2006.
It's 240am and I'm typing in my room, Celest is chatting merrily with my mom in the living room.

HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRR!!

It's been a great 2005, but I believe 2006 would be even greater, as God would bring forth many changes. As I look back, I have been touched to tears by how God has changed my life and I believe that there would be even more breakthroughs in the coming year!

Thank you Lord.
Had a thanksgiving cellgroup on Friday. The youth zone put up drama and dance for that day. My cellgroup put up this drama, a parody of Snow White - Singapore version.

(Left: Snow white. Flower. aka ah Hua)

(below: Ah Lian vs Mean girl)

(Left: Kind hearted SHE that befriended Snow White. Ella, Hebe and Selina in their ah go go position.)

(Below: I am so shocked that Melvin can act. This is me, with Jin Kiam Siap.)

(Me and my bestie Michelle Lam!!)

I die daily

i die
i must die
it is no longer I
but Christ that lives
the flesh is weak
Spirit take control

the past cannot be undone
the lost can be found
the hurts can recover
the sins are forgiven

Dwell no more
I'll move on
Even if I fall
the scabs will heal
If He is with me, who can be against me?

Christmas. Suspiciously handphone jinxed.

The day was great, Strikeforce performed at Christmas Land carnival. Seriously, how can a day like that be bad when what is lined up is simply play, perform, have fun, and end the day off slacking with your family at your sister's cosy pad.

At least I am wouldn't be amongst the catastrophic snow-spraying mobs at Orchard.
Last Christmas, I lost my handphone and wallet to the mob; someone who could not keep his hands to himself got lucky.


This year, the right thing to do would be to protect my possessions and shun crowds. I lost my handphone in the comforts of my alone-ness, to a toilet bowl. Frantically I rinsed it clean, dismantled it to retrieve the sim card. Wrapped the teeny weeny sim card in a tissue paper, left it on the table. Went into the room to blow dry the phone. I came back to find the sim card gone. My sister threw the piece of tissue paper with the sim card!!!
Ahhhhhgh. Oh well. But thank God M1 is gonna send me a new sim card that is 3G enabled, for FREE.



For now, I'll just keep my fingers crossed while I wait till my phone recovers.


Check out last year's post about my mishap on Christmas.

Being 18

my favourite picture for that night.

cheers to the youngest of the group! finally 18!

These are two of the pictures we took that night (We took a total of 66 shots *sweat*).

We were casually talking about being 18 and looking back at how we were anticipating it when we were 16. And now we're looking at turning 21. A few said they feel old. I don't at all. To me, 18's just another age, I don't feel much different from being 16, just that I know my priorities have changed and I live for a purpose. I still feel the excitement of being 16, where possibilities are boundaryless and impossible is nothing!

I looked through my archives... I had my first online blog ever in April 2004. Wow. That was after I got to know Celest. After reading through the posts, I've realised how much I have grown and how much God has been with me, moulding me, loving me, guiding me through the sorrows and pain. From the remnants of the past relationship with Kol, I emerged and staggered through, in search of a purpose, I went from valleys to summits, valleys to summits and valleys to summits again. Nevertheless, I was never lost from His sight and now I'm truely living a life that is fulfilling. Thank God, I am able to play drums to serve Him and people now! Yippeee.

Catch Strikeforce playing Sat 24th Dec 4:15pm~,7pm~,7:15pm~, 9:45pm~ and Sun 25th Dec 12:30pm~, 3:30pm, 4:15pm at Christmas Land Carnival Expo Hall 6. (~ means I would be playing)

A time of thanksgiving

Thank you friends, I enjoyed my 18th birthday. Thanks for the gifts, the treats, the wishes and the time spent with me. =)

I feel so blessed.

Despite a not-so-good Cross Cultural test in the morning of 19th Dec, it was still a great birthday.

We went to Art Museum to do Cross Cultural after the test and it was getting a lil boring especially after seeing the Gao Xing Jian exhibition, which to me was a hall full of paintings with blobs of black ink on white paper. Pardon me, all you artists out there... I know Gao Xing Jian is an honourable nobel prize winner, but I am probably too much of an urbanite to feel the emotions beyond the black or greyish blobs.

Anyway, after combing through the empty hall on the second level, I walked down the stairs to see James calling my name and giving me a face. I simply nodded at him with a sian-what-you-want kind of face. He turned and I saw Emelia, Nat, Esther, Penny and Li Ang, a few flight of steps below, with a cake and candle on it. I was surprised!

After about 2 hours of gazing at the masterpieces of various artisans, I already forgot that it was my birthday! So, secretively they brought in the cake and softly they sang in the museum gallery. I was really surprised. Thanks lovelies. and the cheesecake was yummy.

And later the day ended well with Strikeforce Christmas party at Seasons Park condo function room. All 40 over of us graced the occasion, put up impromptu skit items, and the rule was: No Drumming allowed(since all of us are drummers). And it was hilarious. Despite given less than an hour to come up with the item, the creativity still shone through and we were really tickled. As usual, Bro Boon gave his long speech. Nevertheless, we loved it and hearing from him always renews our vision for Strikeforce.

Strikeforce is not just a group of drummers, we're a bunch of people who are willing to let God stretch ourselves beyond our limits. We drum, not to our own glory, but so that lives may be impacted.

I love Strikeforce. ONE BAND, ONE SOUND.

I love my secondary school friends too.

Last night, they brought me out for dinner and we went to Acid Bar after that. I wanna thank Evelyn, Roy, Ally, Ivan and Kumsum for making time for me. It's been 2 years since we graduated, I'm glad we're still spending time together, not forgetting Mervin, who's enjoying himself in France right now. Friends forever, a saying that seldom happen in reality, but even as the guys are going army soon, I just pray that our friendship would grow deeper.

I also thank my beloved e269 members!

I wanna thank especially my leader, Bro Simon Peter, who has changed my life, ever since I returned to e269. I would have still been a rebellious, morbid, unrealistic, rock star wannabe if he hadn't come into my life. Thank God for him, through the tough times I was able to grow up, through the good times I remembered to give thanks. I could write a whole story about it(would probably write it soon), if I were to go into detail how my life has changed ever since 2004.

Also, I wanna thank the other members...

especially...

Xiaorong, for being with me, ranting to me, encouraging me, allowing me to encourage her, growing up with me, shopping with me and loving me.

Sharon, for praying and believing with me, inspiring me to rise up. Looking forward to building an even deeper relationship with you!

not forgetting other members, you guys rock, thanks for the support and effort to love!

Opps, almost forgot, Celest Sae Vatini! My lovely lady, yes the $2800 spent was all worthwhile when I got to know you. Thank God for a unique sister like you, who does not just look exotic, but has a heart that melts easily and melts others.

And I think this is getting too long winded...the list goes on, MY SISTER, Sophia, who has poured out her heart and soul to me and always buys stuff for me and also, Jocelin, Michelle Lam, Karen Ng, the thought of you guys keep me going on.

And most of all, I wanna thank God, for loving me when I'm good or naughty, and placing all these people in my life.