I'm sitting here, stoning
My mind's in a whirl, the entire morning
So many things to be
I've only myself to convince
that I'm not just a kid
I'm a warrior for the glorious King

I see the gleam in the enemy's eyes
ready to wrestle the doubts in my heart
Picking up the five stones with my hands
I flung with all my strength, confessing Jesus with my mouth

The enemy will never win this war

2 Cor 4:8-11 We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed;
we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed--
always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus,
that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake,
that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

Identity crisis

I feel so small

amongst the sea of strange faces

smiles were everywhere

exchanges of compliments and handshakes

mingling around with drinks and their cakes

I was just a fly buzzing past their sight

they came together for a good cause

the rich, the elites, the execs

showing their support to change the world, it seemed

in fact, it was work obligation that roped them in

the clock struck 12

the aristocrat crowd dispersed in an instant

I stood there

still feeling small

Welcome to the real world

####

Lord, help me grow up

I'm not a kid no more

But the Lord said to me: "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak.

The Scarlet, boutique hotel

The first week of my attachment has been quite alright... other than having problems to wake up early and having to deal with an identity crisis.

Official time for work is 7:45am - 5:15pm, but working hours can extend beyond that depending on whether you get your work done.

I'm not just a kid now, I'm not just a student, I'm an adult, I'm a PR person for *****. It got me really stressed up knowing that there are various events coming up that I would have to organise.... and ***** being a huge MNC gets approached for many sponsorship requests...I would have to reject these, some of which seem desperate to me.

But I know it's gonna be fun!
Going out to events and meeting BIG people.
Scary.

Gotta stretch my mind and think myself in terms of the bigger picture....

We had department lunch at The Scarlet on Wed....
It's the most wonderful place I've ever been to!
The place is red and black and all velvety!

We stood at the door, and this man opened it, for a moment I thought it was Count Dracula.

He is huge and very tall, dressed in a long trenchcoat.

"Hi y'all", he said.

I stepped into the lobby and my eyes opened wide. "I love this place, it's red and black", I chirped. In the lounge area divided into portions with different themes, there were huge vintage armchairs and florrid deco.

We were transported to another world. You feel sensuality oozing from the atmosphere surrounding.

It was a set lunch $28 per person, paid by the company.

The food was really good, appetiser/soup, main course and dessert.

But too bad I didn't take any pictures of any.

And I lou-saied the next day, green yucky stuff. My colleagues didn't though.

The toilet was pretty.

If anyone has money lying around looking to pamper yourself or family or friend(s), this is the place.

http://www.thescarlethotel.com/#

Got the pictures off their website.

SERIOUSLY, the pictures don't tell alot. You have to be there to experience it.

It's a haven to feel pampered.

Have you seen her

her jet black tresses fall upon those delicate shoulders
like rippling waves, they frame her fair face
in heels and skirt
she walks the streets
many strange eyes are entranced by her beauty

Nobody sees her
Nobody hears

exuding innocence and elegance
she takes dainty steps
beyond the placid disposition
those beaming eyes across the porcelain complexion
they tell a story

Yet nobody sees
Nobody hears

their eyes are on her
but has anybody seen

the scars she suffered
in her tender heart
on her slender wrists
Dejection has long killed her
its the empty shell they see


will you be the one to bring her hope
or will you judge her like everybody else
Bring her back to arms of her loving Father

Have you seen her?
Have you heard?

_______________________________________________

This is dedicated to my friend.

There are many people around us who appear to be happy and doing well. However, many of these people have unmet needs or even major problems in their lives.

Sad to say, these people might be people we meet everyday, in school, at work, or even our family members. Who would have known that behind the shenanigans of the class joker, there are struggles from a broken family; that behind the hard-driven cheerleading star, there are depression issues from an abusive relationship?

Pst Tan preached a great sermon today! I was really stirred up.
All of us are indeed one body and we're created with different personalities for a reason.

Anyway, thanks for the concern about my wound everybody!
I removed the stitches this morning, thank God it did not hurt at all!

Praying for miracle healing, for the scar to go away and hair to grow back on my brow!

3 stitches in my eyebrow

I've never seen so much blood in my hands before.

The dent on my forehead, did I break my skull?
No I can't let it bleed anymore.
Did the impact affect my eyesight?
I looked ahead, my vision was clear.
I need an ambulance. I need to get home. My parents need to know.

I walked.
The two men were having a chat at the void deck. They looked at me as I walked past with my right hand pressing on my temple.
Don't look at my bloody mess, I thought in my heart.
Somebody please bring me home now.
A malay couple walked past me... I turned back..holding my wound in grimace
"Excuse me, can you please bring me to my home..I live on the 8th storey?"

The lady took my arm and held me as her boyfriend walked ahead swiftly.

They asked me if I was beaten up.

"No...I fell."

My heart raced with my feet down the steps as we approached my unit.

"Mom. I fell down and am bleeding. Need to go hospital."

Her answers were the most perplexing shouts and screams you wouldn't want to hear at 1am, especially when you have a bleeding head.

I thanked the Malay couple briefly and they left.

(in Mandarin)"Don't play drums anymore, so many things've happened since u play drums."

My heart burned with frustration.. "Please bring me to the hospital now."

She was flustered... went to the kitchen, brought me a few pieces of cotton.

So we went.

I was calm and knew what to do until her repeated accusations made tears surface.
It's not the drums.

I went ahead and made registration at the counter.. and there it goes.. the long wait at the hospital before treatment.

I just needed to rant and cry.

I blamed myself for being careless.
The funny thing is that I knew I shouldn't have gone out. There was no peace in my heart. Even when we got on the train, there was something in me that asked me to go home and not hang out. Despite the turmoil in my heart, I decided to defy it and go anyway.

And another thing is, I met my 14 year old niece in the morning and happened to look at her scar below the eyebrow and wondered to myself how she got it.

So now I know, that was the Holy Spirit speaking and telling me not to hang out. I chose to disobey it and with that I had to bear the consequences of a broken eyebrow.

Lord, I thank You for Your protection, that I didn't suffer a broken skull or injure my eyes.

e269, thanks for your concern and praying in the middle of the night when u heard about my accident.

Mom Dad, thanks for going to hospital with me and staying with me until 4am.

Kaili, thanks for hearing me rant and comforting me on the phone during my long wait at the hospital.

The malay couple, thanks for bringing me home..I can't imagine what would have happened if I met some crook.


Will need to go to polyclinic everyday to dress the wound.. and the stitches would be removed on Saturday.

No more nice eyebrows my mom said.

Jehovah Jireh, My Provider

I got posted to Shell for my attachment!
I didn't expect it, especially after I seemingly screwed up the interview.
I heard guffaws as I stepped out of the external affairs department when my interview ended and I was like, that's it, I'm definitely not gonna get into Shell.
But Praise God..I got through!

Reporting time for first day of work 10 April at Shell Towers UE Square is 745am.
I need a wake up call, seriously.

Does anybody want a job doing admin and can commit for 1 - 2 months or even longer?

I've been working at Symantec for the past two weeks and the HR staff told me that they need 2 - 3 people...probably to replace my position. Though it was boring brainless stuff like printing, photocopying, scanning, stapling and DE-stapling and the likes...throw in some msn, talkative colleagues and an office full of tidbits... it becomes like a primary school party. hahaha.

Thank God for the provision for the job because I didn't even go look for it.
My good friend Ally happened to land herself an interview at my sister's company and mentioned me..and the boss remembered me and asked me to go work with her!
Though this meant no rest before my attachment starts, I could not resist the offer because it was a great chance to work with my friend and get to know her all over again after we took our separate paths from secondary school.

Lovely.

So I've got Symantec and Shell on my resume now.
God is good man!

Djembe rolys

Life song

Casting Crowns - Lifesong

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You

______________


Was deciding between P.O.D, Building 429, Mercy Me and Casting Crowns and somehow I decided to grab Casting Crowns to the cashier.

Tore open the plastic wrapping this morning after much effort.
I'm so glad I settled on Casting Crowns!

There is a foreword before the lyrics of every song, and the foreword for Lifesong says:

".....My life purpose is to give God glory through everything I do.
If my life does not worship Him, my songs don't either."


This line hit me.

It's not about how high we jump or how happy our faces look during praise and worship.
It's not about the number of times we shout Hallelujah.
It's not about the beautiful words of praise in the songs.

Let my praises rise up to You as a sweet aroma from the frankincense
I don't just wanna say words that are sweet..For honey is sweet but produces a foul smell when burnt.

I come before You.... with nothing in my hands.
Dirty, and ugly, like the frankincense
I give You all I am,

let the Spirit come and burn me on once again so that my life can produce a sweet aroma unto You.

Galatians 2:20

"It is no longer I who live, but Christ that lives in me. And the life which I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."

WOOOOHOOOOOO

Took some time to make this blogskin right.. HAHA. Finally.

Presenting myheartremainswithyou skin v1 in my favourite RED, BLACK and CHECKERED DESIGN.

MY BABYBABY BASS DRUM IS BACK!!!!!

Its beeeeeen approximately 816 hours since I last saw it, almost 40 days since I laid my foot on that bouncy pedal and probably 2 months since I played the full drumkit.

Wheeee its jamming time again!!!
Bassists, guitarists, bring ur kit, come on down to blk 63 to party.

hahaha. Ok.

- end of enthusiasm -

Went for Mosaic Festival yesterday. It was fantabulous.
Latino and Afrocuban. Opened my eyes to see beyond the usual 4/4 rhythms.
These guys really have the groove within man..go wit tha flo

I wanna be so creative when I play too man.

Anyway. I was just surfin. and I found this.

sesquipedalian

ses·qui·pe·da·lian (sĕs'kwĭ-pĭ-dāl'yən)

n. Defn: A long word.

______________________________

?!!! right.
so... I guess to form a sentence with this word it could be
"Sesquipedalian is a sesquipedalian ."

Does this make sense? HAHAH.

Rock Climbing

I went rock climbing today with Liting, Rallen, Brina.
I expected it an entire day of sweltering climb under the burning sun... hence before I left the house I smeared furiously blobs of sunblock on my already chao-tah-ed arms and face.

I found myself in dismay when I stepped into the air-conditioned ClimbAdventure in Tanjong Pagar, located amidst the high-rise office towers.

For goodness sake, it was not what I pictured at all.
No sweaty, smelly bodies in action, no glaring sunlight, NOPE.

A bunch of kindergarten kids were having fun cheering their peers and teachers who were on the ropes, climbing.

For $2.50, it was indeed a great place to hang out, literally.

I managed to complete 3 climbs... I think. Other than that, I tried a few more, but unsuccessful attempts. The fingers were really aching after each attempt.

Salute to Liting, she completed her humour 5! She completed that wall using 5 pieces, despite the problematic last piece, which was way out of reach. But she kept trying....I would have given up.
Enjoyed climbing! =)


Was reading my good friend's blog and I came across one of her latest post...

"It's okay. Try again."

It's the most reassuring thing Jesus can say to me right now. I was reading Max Lucado and he was using an example of rock climbing. How we climb the wall of life towards our upward call and sometimes, we get intimidated by the height, or we get distracted and we slip and fall. We will never crash all the way to the floor cos' there will always be the guide or the instructor or my Jesus holding us up, urging us to try again.

Sometimes, all we need is for someone to believe in us.

I'm glad God believes in me. What credentials do I have? Nothing. Yet God says that He only think good thoughts towards me, thoughts of hope and a future for me. And even if we failed the 293093284th time, He will not unwaver in His faith towards us. Amazing right?

This. Is. Love.
______________________________

Yup.
There are some pieces on the wall that we come across on the wall that might be too hard to get to... and at this point thoughts of giving up would appear to distract you..but we need to keep persevering in order to get to the next level. Knowing that whatever the next step might lead us to, Jesus is still there, holding on to us.

beeeautiful.

Gymed with Ling ling in the afternoon and played bball with Kenneth, Darryl, Michael, Peggie, Mich, Ian, Cheryl, Jenn, Cheexiang at night! Wooh, just nice to play full court.

Glad that so many of them could make it today and the whole game I was just laughing non-stop. Can't remember what I was laughing about though.. but it was fun!



Really wanna maximise the time I have this short holiday..

Get my priorities straight.
Practise drumming.
Love my family, spend time with them.
Get to know my cell members and SF members better.
SERVE!

-Countdown: 6 days to getting back my bass drum-

Changes

the rustling of the leaves
the humid air blows
these greens are no more,
wilting to become golden brown crisps
they keep falling
the trees are balding

in this beaming sunlight
it would have been perfect for photosynthesis
in this rainlessness
the trees are stripped of their crowning glory

the scorching heat
has caused grumbles many
still, let's take some time to admire the beauty

Appreciate.

the beauty of Changes
the beauty of seasons
the beauty of His creations

___________________________________

Ok. I feel so dumb now. WHAT DID I just write?!

hahaa..I was just thinking about the hideous sea of brown leaves scattered all over the fitness station near my block when I was walking home just now. And then I looked up and saw the trees. I went like, "aww" in my heart. and then I decided it was quite a pretty sight too. YES, ok that was very dumb!

ok anyway, i hope that what I wrote made sense.

Yups, Changes are the only constant in life. So no matter what changes or tough times we go through, it is just a season that is gearing us up for the next season! Seasons come, seasons go, simply hold on, and your favourite season will come along, take your pick, Winter, Summer, Spring or Autumn!

It's an emo generation

I don't wanna keep falling...
into this abyss so deep
Nobody sees nobody hears
the lie that I'm living in
it's hard. so hard.
Lord would you please show me
Lord would you please enlighten me
hide me from the hurting truth
that i may live ONLY for Your glory once more
_________________________________

I misssssssssss my bassss drummmm!!!!!!! I wannna kicccckkcickkickcickckicck.
-Countdown: 12 days to getting back my bass drum-

"Promise"

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
Make this last forever

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

Pursue the future, moving on from the past

Exams are finally over!!
And I wouldn't have to touch those textbooks until at least September!

Weeeee.
Attachment is starting on April 10.
This means I have about 6 weeks of break!

And the meeting with Ps Ulf really came in time, to define my vision for the future.
Thank God I went for all three days, because He preached about calling on the last day.

It was tremendous, by the end of the meeting, tears ran down my face like a trickling watertap, dripping and wetting the chair in front of me.

I should let neither circumstances, finances, fear nor inadequacies get in the way of pursuing His calling.

I'm excited for this journey ahead.

Time to recharge my life, power up and serve my cellgroup more.
AND time to play drums!

_____________________________________________

Well anyway, I found something that brought me a smile while tidying my room.

This is written in my journal to my teacher when I was in sec 1 in 2000, and the topic was "Two things I've gained(since entering sec school)"

........"I also gained basketball skills, discipline and integrity. When I mean discipline, I meant that I have to learn to stop talking so much in class during lessons because I was caught "talking" during Mdm Cheng's lesson. We were having Chinese spelling and after that we had exchanged papers to mark, so I exchanged with Alison. Alison's paper was full of mistakes and (...) so she asked me if she had failed as we passed back the papers. At that moment, Mdm Cheng (became furious and) asked to go out of the classroom. Then she asked us to meet her at the staff room during recess. Both our names were highlighted in pink on the class list and she warned us that if we did that again, she will request for us to be suspended from basketball. I love basketball very much, so I cannot bear to leave it. ......."

And that resulted in quite a big understanding because we thought that our Chinese teacher were biased against basketball girls.
and there goes...."Oh...those were the days."
Miss training with them. Miss running up and down the stairs. Miss queueing at the water cooler. Miss changing from school shoes to basketball shoes after school. Miss putting hands together before matches to shout, "Sheng Zhong, OuuuSh!"
Miss the 2-1-2, 1-4, 3-2, 1-1-3 blaaah formations. LOL.
Miss the girls.
All the best to those collecting A level results on Wed!

Time to study for exams once again.

Click here to read what I wrote last August. One of the lamest thing I've ever written as I was procrastinating to study.


GOTTA FOCUSSSSSSSSSSS

Chinese Newswriting
20 Feb 2006 14:30-16:30
Cross Cultural Communication
22 Feb 2006 09:30 11:30
Multi-Media & Electronic Publishing
23 Feb 2006 09:30 11:30

Love, not just for lovers.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

Valentine's Day, as much as it seems to be a commercial strategy invented by the scheming marketeers, people still come together to celebrate their love and appreciation for one another...
You don't have to be attached or go for candlelit dinners to be involved in Vday, for the rest of us who are single and carefree, we should show love and concern to the people around us!
_____________________________________________________________
Just felt let to write about this issue, which I've been pondering on for quite some time. This post is abit too cutesy for my liking, but I guess adding some pictures would liven up the reading a lil.

Not everybody is easily love-able or like-able, like your really tactful Hello Kitty without a mouth,



or your Mickey mouse, whose ears are always open so wide to hear you...

There are definitely times when you get offended by somebody's insensitive comments, irritated by one who has crossed over the boundaries, annoyed by another's know-it-all attitude, disappointed by a particular person's decisions...etc.


But we have to forgive, still.

We are to "be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of (our) love". (Eph 4:2)

We are all debtors of love.
And by holding a grudge towards a person, you can grieve the Holy Spirit.

"Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit and bind yourselves together with peace."Eph 4:3

Especially in church, we are one body, and in order for breakthrough to happen, we must be of one mind, one Spirit.

As imperfect humans, we might still continue to see the faults in the person who offended us and think about how they should do this or that...even thoughts like "Call yourself a Christian!" might run through our minds.

Remember Mt 7:3 "Why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?"

We're not to play Holy Spirit, but as we continue to judge ourselves and renew our thoughts and attitudes(Eph 4:23), we are able to grow to be more mature sons and daughters of God, and eventually measure up to the full stature of Christ.

Eph 4:16 "As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts to grow."

As leaders, we are to walk in the light and lead by example.
As we fine-tune our own character, let the Spirit within us influence the people around.

Ephesians 6:12
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

after reading all these, it might still be hard to forgive and forget.

Hold on,

Phil 2:13 (NLT)
"For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and power to do what He pleases."

You can forgive and forget, if you choose to.

chapalang

isn't fitri sweet haha.. he made this with batteries

Ooh I finally got my drums back!!!
But I can't play yet.. Aloy's got my bass drum until march 12.
urggggh i miss playing..


Meanwhile this is the video I made for my project.

It was a one man show (if you don't count the talent in the vid that is)
I did all filming, editing, animation, blah. All those nights spent in school.
Not very well done, due to lack of time and having to juggle between the many deadlines, Chingay practices and cellgroup stuff..

Nevertheless, I shall share this. (PLEASE ON YOUR SPEAKERS BEFORE PRESSING PLAY)

Celest, enjoy watching yourself...

Strikeforce at Chingay in Chinese

Muuahahaha... I wrote this for my Chinese Newswriting feature article. I got an A for it!! Lol. Despite the lack of use of Chinese... Thank God. Hehe. Read it! Improve your chinese!!!

(click for better view)

the One

Took some time to pray and worship during the Chinese New Year period...
I was worshipping on the guitar and this song came out.. I grabbed my pen and recorded down.
Simple song, but it's really meaningful to me.

Enjoy. (click on picture for better view)

More heavenly songs to come!

Chingay is finally over!

It was a great show, all glory unto Him!

Despite a horrendous performance on the full dress rehearsal on Friday, God turned things around and rained anointing on us on the actual day for Chingay.

Moments to remember...

human flocks running for shelter during the frequent seizures of showers

UDM (ultimate drum machine) toppling over while Nick was deeply immersed playing his cross hands strokes at the climax of the performance

the cursed 4 injuries-in-a-row on 3rd day of CNY

1 - And - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and - 5 - and - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and - 5 - and - 2 - and - 3 - and - 4 - and........

the prata eating sessions at Iman (Yawn.)

the hair-raising experience when Michelle broke her egg yolk before my eyes. *vomit*

my few seconds of fame on National TV

the many shocked-and-at-a-loss-for-word-half-jaw-dropping faces when Bro Boon said sternly after the performance, "Guys...What were you doing....(tension arose. silent confusion.)...YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME!" the silence broke into intense cheers and joyful laughs instantaneously!

the bonding of relationships amongst Strikeforce members through the trainings, setting up and dismantling of equipments, perspirations, tears, comparing of OR-CHEhs (bruises), the jokes and hysterical screams, the frustrations and the overcoming.....

AND MORE.

Loveeeeee Strikeforce.
__________________________________


Hallelujah! 3 performances in 3 days.
As I thought about it, God really is using us to make a difference in our community. As we performed, I looked at the fascinated faces in the crowds before me..
There we were playing, displaying what we've acquired after months of training. It was a trying time for many of us, juggling between various commitments, but as we availed ourselves to practice and honour the gifts that He has given, what we've sowed has indeed bore forth fruits...

And these audiences, the president, the prime minister, the people at Orchard Rd or AngMoKio, or those watching TV at home, whether they like it or not, when they cheered for us, they were cheering for God's masterpiece!


I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT STRIKEFORCE GIG.

the years of my childhood

A child I was, I grew up in my own world
Playmates I had, but I was still a loner
My 3 siblings were never there to play with me
In their metamorphical early adult years they were when I was born

I've always felt small everywhere I go

Toys I had many
Cars, soldiers, dolls
Guns, figurines, balls
Almost had 'em all
but playing was rare
my mom was afraid I scratched the marble floor
was afraid to spoil me if she brought me outdoors

primary school started
I didn't need to play at home anymore

Across the fields I'd run
to chase malay boys and play games
while the other girls were mingling, having their recess
Met new friends, they were cool to hang out with
I was envious they could play at playgrounds without parents yelling
I'd make up stories about libraries and projects
avoiding to go home early so that i could make merry

my mom hated my friends
whatever i wanted she hated

The caning stick was a common sight
running around the house, I screamed and cried
Under the bed I'd hide
I could never escape the terrors of that wretched stick
My tears,my only companion in the loneliest night

Is there any formula to make me grow up, fast?

Reluctantly, I bid my primary schoolmates well
off to Anglican High, my dream school as a child
The canings and verbal hurts remained
but I've found closer friends and a new love - basketball
We'd train and laugh, the times quickly passed.
Reality broke when I heard her holler once again

I didn't understand why

At 10, she wouldn't let me join brownies
At 11, she scolded me when I practised badminton
Through my teenage years, she resented me for playing basketball.
I felt restrained, lost, I would never ever live doing what I love

At 13, I met the Lord through a song
He showed me that my life meant more than what it seemed
I am imperfect but He loves me still
I am an ignorant child but He told me He is real

It hurt me the most when she called me a fool

I pursued on for the truth
He revealed even more while she remained aloof
Strength imparted, His mercy healed me
Through the criticisms I shall remain unfazed
With grace I shall love her

Indeed I'm a fool, a fool for Christ
I now live for His purpose
I now live for His people

God is good, I now have a new toy! The drums. hahaha.

The song that touched me is below.

SO YOU WOULD COME (thanks to guitar4christ.com)

BEFORE THE WORLD BEGIN

YOU WERE ON HIS MIND
AND EVERY TEAR YOU CRIED
IS PRECIOUS IN HIS EYES
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON

EVERY THING WAS DONE

SO YOU WOULD COME

NOTHING YOU CAN DO
TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE
AND NOTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE
COULD MAKE HIM CLOSE THE DOOR
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GIVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERY THING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

COME TO THE FATHER
THOUGH YOUR GIFT IS SMALL
BROKEN HEARTS, BROKEN LIVES
HE WILL TAKE THEM ALL

THE POWER OF THE WORD
THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

I was reminded of this song and all the emotions that I had when I heard this when I was 13 came alive again...Though at that time I already heard the songs a few times before, but somehow it spoke to me because I never felt that important in my life until I sang "EVERY THING WAS DONE, SO YOU WOULD COME". During my growing years, I used to resent my life...and wished it ended but as I continued to sing that song God painted a joyous picture of my family and the heavens celebrating when I was born.. Wow... and the tears flowed as I felt His love overwhelm me, telling me that I could come to Him no matter how broken I was. That day, Aug 13 2000, I officially became a Christian.

Chingay Full dress rehearsal 21 Jan

the girlies

hey they left me out in this spicegirls shot. haha..

Chingay Full dress rehearsal!

make up too thick!!! eeeew.

jules.jenn.joy.karen

peggie and her nice hair she went home on the train with.

drumwall twins.

All my Springs are found in You

All my Springs are found in You
Every breath, You are the air
Every step, You motivate
Every laughter
its because You're here
Every work accomplished
I give thanks to Your power unleashed

On the cross, You sacrificed
Your life ended so that I can have mine
All my Springs are found in You
The Source that I return to

_______________________

was praying last night and the Spirit led me to write this after reading Ps 87.

Psalms 87:7
Both the singers an players on the instruments say, "All my springs are found in You."

Though as a musician we usually focus on skills, but indeed it is not about how skilled we are, but its about the spirit that we carry. It is not by human strength, not by might, but by the denial of self and glorification unto the Lord.

Release the joy within and perform our hearts out!
______________________

super super super tight

a greater capacity to handle these

I need

a miracle

strength

alertness

grace

anointing

peace

Deadlines

20Jan : 1 4-pg newspaper

26Jan : 1 radio programme

01Feb: 1 multimedia music video

06Feb: 1 single camera film

06Feb: 1 crosscultural website

03 - 04 Feb: Chingay '06 ---- means training almost every night til then.

28 - 31 Jan: CNY '06 ---- means no work can be done.

My only free time daily is that 4 hours of sleep..but it is indeed a privilege to play for Chingay...and it is one of the things I look forward to daily.
Let the joy of the Lord be my strength.

A stranger

it was many years before
you caught my sight at the lift landing floor
i didn't know you then
but a tingling inside wanting to see you more
a stranger, probably i won't see again

weeks and months past
a cute stranger encounter left at that
with greater responsibilities to take
discovering a destiny meant days are simply activity-packed
a stranger, just one of the many strangers that i met

pursuing on to the ultimate goal
more of my time I give to God
He opened doors to what I've desired for
a place He promised me my destiny
but here, i also see a face...isn't that?
a stranger, have I met you before?

my heart my soul my all, to focus on Him I must
every distraction away it shall be cast!
the tingling returned
wait a minute, it was
that stranger, the impression did last!
UrghhhH! Can i please get you off my mind?!

Oh Lord, help me stay focused
You are my first love and always will
Let your will be done
for that was a stranger
a stranger, i shall admire from afar

Simple Plan Needs Jesus

haha.. I came across this while being distracted from writing my cross cultural journals. This song is by Because We're Loved. Title : Simple Plan Needs Jesus. [no kiddingsss!!!] I was chuckling to myself when I saw this because I've always thought that they were lame.

download the song here or here.

Stop complaining, we're all tired of your whining
We do enough ourselves and don't need more from you
Your life's not what you make it seem
Thousands of fans and a hit CD
And there's more on the way or that's what they say
You know it's hard to feel sorry for you
When you're doing what so many kids want to
Whoa, whoa, give us good news
Whoa give us some good news
'Cause we all get a little bumped and bruised
But that doesn't mean that we all lose
And you're right, tomorrow won't be better
If everyone had a life like yours seems
You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't
Tell us anything good
Maybe that would be a refreshing change
That car, your test, you can't blame those on anyone else

When you wake up each morning and see the sun
do you think about all that the father has done?

the drippy diaries

this is the air I breathe
warm humidity lingers
particles, pollens, they are the floaters
the dusty and nasty
irritants that make my voice husky
my nose becomes haughty
it denies air entry
drip...drip..dripadrip
i'm now in a frantic
where are the tissues that my mom keep?!
drip...drip..dripadrip

AHH CHOOO~!

It's mucus out in a heap. =S
_____________________________________________________

I started out the first line wanting to write something inspirational, but this came out instead. Haha..oh well.. I get cold attacks pretty often. But I shall not confess negatively! This year, my health will get better!

More pictures from Thanksgiving cellgroup.

me and my cell leader, Bro Simon Peter.

the messy scene before it all started, getting ready the talents and props.

Chuck and Cheese in her favourite pose.

presenting to you Ella! poor Irwin had to put on make up.. haha

last but not least, me and sharon with our prizes. Cheers!

Happy New Year

It's the first post of 2006.
It's 240am and I'm typing in my room, Celest is chatting merrily with my mom in the living room.

HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRR!!

It's been a great 2005, but I believe 2006 would be even greater, as God would bring forth many changes. As I look back, I have been touched to tears by how God has changed my life and I believe that there would be even more breakthroughs in the coming year!

Thank you Lord.
Had a thanksgiving cellgroup on Friday. The youth zone put up drama and dance for that day. My cellgroup put up this drama, a parody of Snow White - Singapore version.

(Left: Snow white. Flower. aka ah Hua)

(below: Ah Lian vs Mean girl)

(Left: Kind hearted SHE that befriended Snow White. Ella, Hebe and Selina in their ah go go position.)

(Below: I am so shocked that Melvin can act. This is me, with Jin Kiam Siap.)

(Me and my bestie Michelle Lam!!)

I die daily

i die
i must die
it is no longer I
but Christ that lives
the flesh is weak
Spirit take control

the past cannot be undone
the lost can be found
the hurts can recover
the sins are forgiven

Dwell no more
I'll move on
Even if I fall
the scabs will heal
If He is with me, who can be against me?

Christmas. Suspiciously handphone jinxed.

The day was great, Strikeforce performed at Christmas Land carnival. Seriously, how can a day like that be bad when what is lined up is simply play, perform, have fun, and end the day off slacking with your family at your sister's cosy pad.

At least I am wouldn't be amongst the catastrophic snow-spraying mobs at Orchard.
Last Christmas, I lost my handphone and wallet to the mob; someone who could not keep his hands to himself got lucky.


This year, the right thing to do would be to protect my possessions and shun crowds. I lost my handphone in the comforts of my alone-ness, to a toilet bowl. Frantically I rinsed it clean, dismantled it to retrieve the sim card. Wrapped the teeny weeny sim card in a tissue paper, left it on the table. Went into the room to blow dry the phone. I came back to find the sim card gone. My sister threw the piece of tissue paper with the sim card!!!
Ahhhhhgh. Oh well. But thank God M1 is gonna send me a new sim card that is 3G enabled, for FREE.



For now, I'll just keep my fingers crossed while I wait till my phone recovers.


Check out last year's post about my mishap on Christmas.

Being 18

my favourite picture for that night.

cheers to the youngest of the group! finally 18!

These are two of the pictures we took that night (We took a total of 66 shots *sweat*).

We were casually talking about being 18 and looking back at how we were anticipating it when we were 16. And now we're looking at turning 21. A few said they feel old. I don't at all. To me, 18's just another age, I don't feel much different from being 16, just that I know my priorities have changed and I live for a purpose. I still feel the excitement of being 16, where possibilities are boundaryless and impossible is nothing!

I looked through my archives... I had my first online blog ever in April 2004. Wow. That was after I got to know Celest. After reading through the posts, I've realised how much I have grown and how much God has been with me, moulding me, loving me, guiding me through the sorrows and pain. From the remnants of the past relationship with Kol, I emerged and staggered through, in search of a purpose, I went from valleys to summits, valleys to summits and valleys to summits again. Nevertheless, I was never lost from His sight and now I'm truely living a life that is fulfilling. Thank God, I am able to play drums to serve Him and people now! Yippeee.

Catch Strikeforce playing Sat 24th Dec 4:15pm~,7pm~,7:15pm~, 9:45pm~ and Sun 25th Dec 12:30pm~, 3:30pm, 4:15pm at Christmas Land Carnival Expo Hall 6. (~ means I would be playing)

A time of thanksgiving

Thank you friends, I enjoyed my 18th birthday. Thanks for the gifts, the treats, the wishes and the time spent with me. =)

I feel so blessed.

Despite a not-so-good Cross Cultural test in the morning of 19th Dec, it was still a great birthday.

We went to Art Museum to do Cross Cultural after the test and it was getting a lil boring especially after seeing the Gao Xing Jian exhibition, which to me was a hall full of paintings with blobs of black ink on white paper. Pardon me, all you artists out there... I know Gao Xing Jian is an honourable nobel prize winner, but I am probably too much of an urbanite to feel the emotions beyond the black or greyish blobs.

Anyway, after combing through the empty hall on the second level, I walked down the stairs to see James calling my name and giving me a face. I simply nodded at him with a sian-what-you-want kind of face. He turned and I saw Emelia, Nat, Esther, Penny and Li Ang, a few flight of steps below, with a cake and candle on it. I was surprised!

After about 2 hours of gazing at the masterpieces of various artisans, I already forgot that it was my birthday! So, secretively they brought in the cake and softly they sang in the museum gallery. I was really surprised. Thanks lovelies. and the cheesecake was yummy.

And later the day ended well with Strikeforce Christmas party at Seasons Park condo function room. All 40 over of us graced the occasion, put up impromptu skit items, and the rule was: No Drumming allowed(since all of us are drummers). And it was hilarious. Despite given less than an hour to come up with the item, the creativity still shone through and we were really tickled. As usual, Bro Boon gave his long speech. Nevertheless, we loved it and hearing from him always renews our vision for Strikeforce.

Strikeforce is not just a group of drummers, we're a bunch of people who are willing to let God stretch ourselves beyond our limits. We drum, not to our own glory, but so that lives may be impacted.

I love Strikeforce. ONE BAND, ONE SOUND.

I love my secondary school friends too.

Last night, they brought me out for dinner and we went to Acid Bar after that. I wanna thank Evelyn, Roy, Ally, Ivan and Kumsum for making time for me. It's been 2 years since we graduated, I'm glad we're still spending time together, not forgetting Mervin, who's enjoying himself in France right now. Friends forever, a saying that seldom happen in reality, but even as the guys are going army soon, I just pray that our friendship would grow deeper.

I also thank my beloved e269 members!

I wanna thank especially my leader, Bro Simon Peter, who has changed my life, ever since I returned to e269. I would have still been a rebellious, morbid, unrealistic, rock star wannabe if he hadn't come into my life. Thank God for him, through the tough times I was able to grow up, through the good times I remembered to give thanks. I could write a whole story about it(would probably write it soon), if I were to go into detail how my life has changed ever since 2004.

Also, I wanna thank the other members...

especially...

Xiaorong, for being with me, ranting to me, encouraging me, allowing me to encourage her, growing up with me, shopping with me and loving me.

Sharon, for praying and believing with me, inspiring me to rise up. Looking forward to building an even deeper relationship with you!

not forgetting other members, you guys rock, thanks for the support and effort to love!

Opps, almost forgot, Celest Sae Vatini! My lovely lady, yes the $2800 spent was all worthwhile when I got to know you. Thank God for a unique sister like you, who does not just look exotic, but has a heart that melts easily and melts others.

And I think this is getting too long winded...the list goes on, MY SISTER, Sophia, who has poured out her heart and soul to me and always buys stuff for me and also, Jocelin, Michelle Lam, Karen Ng, the thought of you guys keep me going on.

And most of all, I wanna thank God, for loving me when I'm good or naughty, and placing all these people in my life.

the 4 temperaments

hi guys, sorry that I don't blog enough. Been very busy with schoolwork..but Thank God I've been able to survive through.
From the previous post, the Chingay Media Preview was quite alright, it was on the Channel 8/U news, but sadly, I wasn't caught on camera. Oh well, there are more chances in future.

I've just started reading this book, The Spirit-controlled Woman by Beverly LaHaye. It discusses the temperaments of people. All humans have temperaments. And these are acquired genetically.
There are four types:
Melancholic
Phelgmatic
Sanguine
Choleric

Melancholic :

(+) Sensitive, loves music and art, analytical, emotionally responsive, dependable friend, faithful, loyal, makes friends cautiously.

(-) Moody, gloomy, Pessimistic, likes to suffer(matyr mentality), Hypochondriac, proud, Depressive, introspective to the point of being harmful, carry grudge and revengeful, critical of others and imperfections, suspicious of others.

Phelgmatic :

(+) Calm, dependable, peace-loving, good listener, gives advice only when asked, works well under pressure, Neat, Conservative.

(-) Lacks confidence in self, Rarely laughs aloud, compromising, selfish and stingy, unenthusiastic, indifferent, attitude of superiority, uninvolved spectator, lack of motivation, indecisive.

Sanguine :

(+) Warm, lively, charismatic, talkative, compassionate, carefree, sociable, always smiling and friendly, gifted in caring for sick.

(-) Emotionally unpredictable, restless, exagerates the truth, spontaneous outburst of anger, naive and childlike, impulsive buyer, completely disorganized, enjoys people and forget them, fall short of goal, easily distracted.


Choleric :

(+) Confident and natural leader, strong-willed, self-determined, optimistic,motivator, good organizer, quick and bold in emergencies, sets goals and reaches them.

(-) overly self-confident, prejudiced, violent anger problem, unsympathetic and harsh, makes decision for others, tend to dominate group, bored by details, opinionated.

Temperament is the oldest theory of human behaviour. It was conceived by the Greek physician Hippocrates, who is known as the "father of modern medicine."

Since temperaments are a part of our genes, they cannot be changed. And most of us are usually a combination of two of the temperaments. This means that you could be a MelChlor, SanPhelg, ChlorSan, SanMel or MelSan or PhelgMel? There are a total of 12 blends of temperaments.
And this book talks about how you are able to lead a more fulfilling life and strengthen the weakness in your life as u balance your primary and secondary temperaments. And this is possible as we walk with the Holy Spirit more.

Haven't finished reading the book yet, but it unlocks the mysteries as to why people do the things they do and how it would be possible to be less controlled by emotions.

I think, I'm a MelSan. Because I adore arts and music and am a faithful friend! San because I'm super messy.
But I can be quite phelg also. haha, What do you think u are?
There's a short test in the book, if you're interested do drop me a message =)

Enlarge the place of your tent, ...Do not spare

Though I've always been busy, days often revolve around schedules, but right now I really know what it means to be stretched. Stretched to the MAX. Now this is what one would call a life lived to its fullest.

Sun 20/11 Do Project Proposal for video - Storyboard, technical details
6 - 10pm Strikeforce Training
11pm - 230am Rush the rest of proposal

Mon 21/11 Deadline for proposal
7 - 10am Rush rest of proposal
School starts 1pm
8 - 1130pm Strikeforce Training
1230 - 1500am Prepare Radio script, dozed off

Tues 22/11 School starts 9am, ends 2pm
3pm - 4pm Complete Drama script and plan for year end thanksgiving cellgroup
4pm leave house for church
7.45-11pm Churchwide BS
1230am - 1400am Pray, complete rest of radio preparation

Wed 23/11 9 - 10am Audio editing suite, lushlab assignment
11 - 4pm school
Go home sleep
8pm - 1130pm Strikeforce training

Thur 24/11 9 - 2pm school
2 - 5pm FREE - Rest, play, do other assignments
7pm - 1130pm Strikeforce training

Fri 25/11 9 - 1pm school
Do group single camera tutorial
4 - 7pm FREE
8pm - 9pm BS at Suntec Twr 3

Sat 26/11 (tentative) Strikeforce training
3pm - 11pm In Church

Sun 27/11 Revise School work, Organise week ahead.
1200am - ??? Strikeforce Training

Mon 28/11 730 am - 1030am Performance for Chingay Preview at Wisma Atria
1200pm rush off to school.

Beyond the school deadlines, I have to juggle between Strikeforce and cellgroup, and family. So little time. But thank God, in the midst of this He has provided with peace. Especially for my deadline for storyboard on Monday, I had to come up with an idea within such a short time, and I had to draw out the stuff. But He brought me through it. Haaa. It's exciting. Though I feel stretched, but it's just amazing how He is able to multiply my time.

Is 54:2-3
"Enlarge the place of your tent, And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; Do not spare; Lengthen your cords, And strengthen your stakes. For you shall expand to the right and to the left, And your descendants will inherit the nations, And make the desolate cities inhabited."

Friends, I can't spend much time this week. Sorry, especially for those who have just finished A's.. hah, but I can make time..
OK! it's back to work.

it's 8:46 am. I'm in school. urgh.

Chinese Newswriting class in less than 15 mins.

dannnnggggg..
Lord give me strength.

a Fresh Start always

It's a new school term and it's a new blogskin for a great start. (As if.) Actually i'm changing the skin because I know I won't have time to change it at least until after this sem. I don't blog often, because I don't like my blogskin. haha...
I'm in Chinese Newswriting, which I kinda dread. I don't really dread the writing, but its more of... ehem. Never know who might be reading this.
It's actually alot of factors, like I heard that this module would be like subediting, just that it is taught in Mandarin. But I guess, I've gotta be responsible and face reality.
I know that everything's gonna be alright, like how we've always thought we would drown and die in the overwhelming work but we still survived through each sem!

I spent time with Chunyun, my friend of 8 years shopping at Bugis Street today. 8 years. We met in Primary 4. Been in the same class from P4 right up to Sec 2. During upper sec, we were separated due to subject electives... but the friendship remains. And we are still in the same institution. Just different courses. Wow. This means that we've been studying in the same institution for 11 years! And that's not counting PAP kindergarten! hahahahah..
We grew up together, but we've always been different. In our tastes, our personality, our goals. I thank God that despite us pursuing different lives and dreams, we're still ever so comfortable with each other.

fRIENDSHIP is highly maintanence. Actually it applies to all relationships. Unless there is one who continues to sow faithfully into it, there comes a day when it dies and only memories remain. Every day is a new day to sow into somebody's life. Make a difference in your friend/mom/dad/sister/brother/auntie/cousin/uncle/grandma/grandpa/granduncle/stepfather/stepmother/whoever I missed out/neighbour's life today.

Cherish.

Subside

The song kept playing in my head. I miss them... I miss Parousia.. They are the best local band I've seen perform. The passion, the spirit, the sincerity. It's a pity Parousia is no longer.

Subside

I was so sure
I'd eventually make things work
I didn't see
You had something else for me
Now I've made a mess of it all
(Listened to my pride)
Now I can't make sense of it all
(Now I see the light)
So when You and I collide
I will subside
By Your word I will abide
I will subside
You understand
I've got my dreams and my own plans
Without a doubt
I've got my whole life all mapped out
But I don't know what's best for me
(I only see today)
So I trust implicitly
(I'll do what You say)
So when You and I collide
I will subside
By Your word I will abide
I will subside
You said those who seek will find
(Have eternal life)
So I'll gladly follow You
(My life I sacrifice)
So when You and I collide
I will subside
By Your word I will abide
I will subside

God knows our desires

It's Fridaaaaay again!
Hmm. Latest Update: I am blessed with the jacket in my earlier post!

WOW. I cannot believe it, but God is really great! His Word does not only say that we shall not live in lack, but it also says that we shall live a life of abundance.

Indeed He is not only Jehovah Jireh that provides us with the essential needs of our lives, but He also knows the desires of our hearts and will bless us according to His will, because He is a God, a God of excellence.

In my last post, it was seven days ago that I saw this perfect jacket that I loved. To me, it was a pretty admirable thing that I didn't think of possessing at all, too expensive, too unreachable. Nice to See, Nice to Touch. Cannot bring home.
I didn't even think about saving for it, because I know my mom would kill me for buying something so expensive. But my Father, my Father in Heaven was really generous.

I didn't need a month to save for the jacket, it took Him a weekend to work His miracle!

Even though I have been giving faithfully to the building fund for the past months, I was led to give a faith offering last weekend. I wanted my offering to mean something to God, not just tipping Him, but something that would make a difference somewhere somehow.
Then I met James in church later at night and showed him enthusiatically the picture with the jacket I took on my handphone... He actually told me, "Come on! Believe that you can have it la!" Then he said that God will provide, that there has also been times there are things that he desire for, however God would always provide a means for him to get, either through financial blessings or people who bless him with things. I was like, ok... I believe..

Came Monday, my sister saw my MSN picture and asked me if I bought it. "No! Siao.. $180 leh." "Buy for you as birthday present la." *OPEN EYES WIDE, HYPERVENTILATING* Thank God! Wooh! And then we went to reserve the jacket on Tues.

Indeed He says in His word that when we bring in all the tithes and offerings into the storehouse, He will open the windows of heavens with blessings so much our barns cannot contain!

Though this has been not the first time God has blessed me when I give... I am still amazed by how God works...There are many other experiences that has WOWED me, including how I got my drumset..(those who are interested to know can ask me=)

Malachi 3:10
Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this," Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.

The perfect jacket for meee.. but no monneeeey

Oh man I can't believe it. I found the perfect jacket, formal yet funky, versatile for all occasions.......It's flashy yet subdued and its puffed up sleeves are perfect for my narrow shoulders!! Gaaaawsshhhh. Thanks for Xiaorong who was eyeing her denim Guess jacket for quite some time already, i actually stepped into the Guess boutique at Suntec for the first time in my life... While waiting for her, my heart was itching to try on the jacket showcased on the mannequin at the display area outside the store. I tried it on. I couldn't believe it. It was so perfect! but.... sigh, $180. I should pray for blesssing....

Meanwhile...

Rest, it is a gift.

Wrote this last night.

Rest, it is not a state of mind

It is not a break from life

Some will seek it, but cannot find it

those who have it are truly blessed.

The peace within, I can't contain

Through good and bad, it remains

The Word He gave will never change

For He gives His beloved rest.

Isaiah 14:3

"It shall come to pass in the day the LORD gives you rest from your sorrow, and from your fear and the hard bondage in which you were made to serve..."

NO MORE LORDS OF DOGTOWN

Cannot find show at any cinemas. =(

Start my day with a post

I'm in the office right now.
Half an hour early today. I'm not feeling groggy today, but reaching office early kinda makes my day longer... Oh well, but I had a free ride from my bro-in-law.
I'm going to watch Lords of Dogtown today!! Finally, 3 weeks after its release ( or more.) Everytime we planned to meet up, something has to crop up, like one of us cannot make it, or my stupid ankle, work, blah.
I can't wait!!! It's been many moons since I got my dosage of skater punks, since the movie Grind, and I've already watched it so many times.
Hey all of you out there, if you are amidst the exam stress or feeling depressed or simply need a good laugh, please watch GRIND. It's so hilarious!

Ok, I'm going to check movie times.

Lord, let Your will be done today, and that it may be fruitful!

the days of the Swollen Ankle shall come to past... pt 2

Some Singaporeans are too blinded by self. This is might be a sweeping statement, but at least to me, this 50-something to 60s uncle, being overwhelmed in reading his Today's newspaper on bus 36, was blinded by his own needs.

On a typical weekday morning, the smartly dressed and eau de toilette - wearing office workers would pack bus 36 as most of them are going to the CBD to work. On this very day, I hopped onto the bus on my bandaged wrapped ankle, and settled my butt on this seat along the aisle, for easy getting off from bus later.

The crowds began to pack and I found myself smelling into the fresh edition of Today in my face. The uncle, who was standing at the aisle beside me, rested his entire left forearm on the black thingy behind our heads attached to the seat (whateva u call it, definitely not a headrest). He rested his entire forearm to hold the Today paper better. As a result, the paper was perpendicular to my face (if my face was a straight line, that is), leaving me with about 3 centimetres of headroom? Ahh, now I know the importance of having headroom outside photography.

Maybe what he did was a blatant hint to tell me he needed the seat more than me. But like I said earlier, his eyes were always down, down at the papers, but failed to see my bandaged foot. After some time, I couldn't stand it. I gave him a blatant hint too. I bent forward and reached for my itchy foot. After the second attempt, he finally reacted and closed the papers. He looked down, saw my foot, glimpsed at me and kept his papers.

Finally.

the days of the Swollen Ankle shall come to past...

It's pretty hard to find time to blog. It's not that my hands are not efficient or slow, and I am proud to say that my pair of small humble hands can at least play 7.5 sets of sixteenths strokes per minute more than the average person. Or more. I don't know. 7.5 looked like a nice number.
But for my feet, I'm not too sure. Playing drums without the bass is weird. MUSIC, without bass, IS weird. But I think my neighbours at blk 63 would have to contend with drumplays without the kick bass for at least another 2 weeks until my ankle fully recovers.

I've finally removed the ankle bandage which reeks of herbs and mysteriously smells of fried salted fish. Joking la, please, I don't have athlete's foot!
Finally my right foot was able to have its deserved access to oxygen. The swelling's gone down quite alot, just a small lump below the ball of my ankle left. I can't wait. Can't wait to go running, go blading, go SHOPPING and kick the bass with all my might.

I went shopping anyways. Brought my mom out last week, wanted to treat her to dinner, but in the end, I had to ask her to pay my dinner for me cos I didn't have money left after shopping. HEY. I bought my mom two pairs of shoes and my dad, a branded shirt ok! oh well. I bought myself one pair of shoes, versatile enough to look funky, smart and formal. for only $16.90! It's good to sow into my parents' life. Yes, I can take the lead in changing their lives.

Oh back to my sprained ankle. How did I sprain it? I'm too ashamed to say that it was not because of an adrenaline rush during a heated basketball game, not because I was running for my life from a malicious looking stranger, not even because I was too mesmerised staring at some hot dude walking along Orchard Road.

I missed my foot's landing while I was walking down my flat's staircase (in my usual ganjeong-flustered-rush-here-rush-there self), reaching into my bag to get my handphone, when the world began to whirl around me in that split moment. The uncle who was climbing down the stairs, looked down at the exasperated me inquisitively and asked, "Girl, are you ok?" I simply laughed at my foolishness and told him I was fine. His wife came out of the unit, where I landed outside. A typical Peranakan makcik response, "Aiyoh, sayang.. why like that.."
I was amused by myself.
Then the pain set in.
Made a wrong choice by going to the sinseh at my neighbourhood. This is the first time in my life of my 3 sprained ankle incidents that I see a sinseh. And it is also the first time it took more than a week to heal. Dang. I don't think he had the skills to treat a sprained ankle.
Nevertheless, I'm much better now. Thank God.

Yesterday's service was really a fresh touch from heaven. This service really reinforced the standard for which the type of life I have to lead.

Ever since the last time Pst Ulf prophesied about new music that will birth forth, I knew in my spirit that I have to flow in the same vision. Even though it seemed like he was prophesying to the musicians in church, I received what he spoke for myself. As a drummer, I need to seize this kairos moment, and practise, for this is the season to do what I am called to do.

Indeed the church is God's vehicle to show His wisdom, and through the church new things birth forth to influence the world. And Strikeforce would definitely be this new thing that God is using. We come from different backgrounds, some never touched even a pair of drumsticks before in their lives. The youngest in Strikeforce is 10 years old (i think), the oldest, old enough to be our grandparents. It does not matter, God uses people of all sorts to do amazing things. And we shall be an impact to the nations! Things are unfolding, as 25 Strikeforce members would be leading for Japan, Osaka to perform in the biggest Midosuji Parade 2005 on Oct 9! More than a million people are expected to show up at this event! WOooHoo!
Though I am not chosen to go, I am so excited for them! One band, One sound, One spirit.

I went to watch STOMP with Strikeforce this week, and after that, Bro Boon shared that there is nothing that they do we cannot do. I agree with it, what's more, we have the anointing of God.
Throughout the show, I was carefully analysing the beats and imagined us doing that in future. I was really bowled over by their creativity and team coordination. I believe that we can be even better than them through practice and a spirit of excellence. What is more important is a heart of worship and a good attitude that will then flow out in the Spirit when we play and perform.

I was so ministered and touched to tears during altar call yesterday because He told me that He is going to use me for something great.. And it requires much faith because it is bigger than anything that I can imagine.

I need to seize the kairos moment, and practise and seek God!
It's about leaving behind a legacy in all that I do.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh by the way, I updated my wishlist. haah.
So... blessings are free to come in anytime.

Give to God, get a job!

Whoo, today's the first day of my work at Symantec. Wooaaht? Symantec? You mean the Norton Anti Virus company, listed as Fortune's Top #2 Businesses, Fortune's #43 Best companies to work in? WoooOaaahHt?! Yea, I cannot believe it myself either.
I'm currently a temp staff in the Customer Care Department, and the first day of work was 7 hours of orientation training introducing me to tasks such as verifying customer details via email and calls, updating verified particulars on the trustworthy ORACLE database....blah. And some Australians can be so arrogant when they know that you are calling from Asian countries. Urgh.
And tomorrow apparently there's still stuff to be learnt, man, so many things to do!! I wonder if I can absorb all.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I didn't even make an effort to land myself this job? For the past one month, I have been giving to my church's building fund. This is a six-month long pledge, in which most members in my church have pledged a certain amount and would be giving faithfully for this six months. Since the start of this pledge, I have already heard many testimonies about how people have sowed and reaped financial blessings... Like one of my members, Sharon, she has been giving, but never in lack, because God blessed her with a job, and her father struck top prize in 4D! As for me, I knew that this second month would not be easy, as I was already running low of cash. To meet my pledge, I would need a job quickly after my examinations. I prayed and claimed His promise, that indeed, if I'm called to give, He shall also be my Provider!

As the exams got nearer, I was beginning to wonder about getting a job. I definitely didn't want to stay on as a Sales Promoter at Takashimaya, or anywhere else...I wanted to move on, to somewhere offering more pay and allow me to enhance my Resume. I didn't know how it would happen for it seemed like I was likely to end up doing sales or waitressing again..
But wow!! God really provides and knows all my needs and worries!

During an MSN conversation with my sister, she was casually asking me about finding job..Then she asked me if I wanted to work at her office..Praise God, so coincidentally, a girl temppping at her company is resigning! It is just in time! God is never early, never late, but just on time! Praise Him! For indeed those who sow shall reap in due season!
This job will not only bless me financially, but also enhance my Resume! *delighted*

Ah.. wonderful. I'm still amazed by it.

'Tis the season to be mugging

Hog the study, it smells so musty
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be mugging
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now in thick gay glasses
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Scrolls and books that we devour on
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

See the blazing notes before us
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Strike the pen and get to business.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
No more time for merry leisure.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
A common time to suffer seizures.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Fast away the exam pass me
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Hail the holidays and party
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Sing we joyous, all together.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
heedless of the wind and weather.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Well. I was bored. Ergggggh. 4 days into study week and I merely finished one chapter. fa. la. la.

a privilege to play

I had my first gig last Friday. first gig as a drummer in a music band, that is.
Though I didn't perform the best I could, and in fact I screwed up (to the grimace of this onlooker who walked away when I lost a beat during a fill-in). hahaa.. Well, but I feel really privileged...albeit the nervousness and shivering hands.

The truth is, its been quite some time I've been wondering when God would use me in the drums. I know there's a reason for me having the drumset, for the wondrous miracle that my mom did not rant and disown me when I bought the drumset without her permission. I've been dreaming, fantasizing, about a first gig, ever since I had a first touch of a drumset. (thanks estee. =P) And it all ended last Friday, not the perfect jubilant set that I always dreamts of, it was a surreal 15-min experience that I am not even sure if we really played, played.

I don't remember us performing, we simply jammed outside the corridor of LT 21. The best part was not in the moment when the crowds cheered us on when we completed a satisfatory rendition of Switchfoot's Meant to Live, nor would it be the hungry hours of waiting "kopeing" nachos by the set for our turn to play, and it would defintely not be the heart-wrenching second displayed by the guy who walked away in grimace.

It had to be in the spontaneity of playing "Amazing". James suggested it and the two of them, James and Veroy, children church singers, led the set. Though it was our usual worship song and there were many unbelievers around, I had so much joy playing this beautiful song. Indeed, God has heard my prayers... my cries to Him to be used on the drums.

Meanwhile, I need to be more diligent in practising.