A Child Lives What He Learns

A Child Lives What He Learns

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns appreciation.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

by Dorothy Law Nolte 1972

I find this poem to be so true, as I observe the upbringings of myself and people around me.
I come under the hostility category.

Pastor shared this poem during Father's Day weekend service last week.
Throughout the sermon, my eyes were wet and I had to keep those wretched tears from rolling down.

I've learnt to fight for what I've wanted.. Was just having a chat with my supervisor this morning
when she asked if my parents spoiled me, since I was the baby of the family.

I went, "No! They didn't let me play basketball, they didn't let me go church, they didn't let me play drums!"
My supervisor, "Yet you did that all!"

Yes, I fought for what I wanted through much tears, screams, beatings etc.
All these also wouldn't have been possible without my sister who has always supported me in everything I've done.

During that Father's Day sermon, Pastor was sharing how one could be a better father.
The more he shared, the more I couldn't control the tears.
The truth is, as a child, there was an unfulfilled need for affection and assurance from my parents.
Through the years, I've grown to take aggresiveness and hostility from my family as a norm.
Not saying that my parents are bad, but as a family, we're so used to hostility that we forget that shouting at each other is rude,
forget that as humans we need words of affirmation etc.

It was probably a good thing that I was brought up in this manner, hence learn to fight for the things I believe in.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have stayed on in church when my mom threatened me or accused me.
Can't imagine what horrrendous stuff I would have fought for if I wasn't in church.

Thank God, for the way He has wired me..that has made me become the person that I am today.

I've become stronger, through it all.

Proverbs 20:30 "Blows that hurt cleanse away evil as do stripes the inner depths of the heart."

Anyway.. I'm just super jealous of this 6-year old kid called Emma..
Her mommy calls her everyday on the phone and tells her she is a good girl when she reads her book, the phone call always ends with "I love you".

I know that things will get better at home.