I feel fat. very very.

I feel fat. very very.
Man. Like what's new. Once again, I am fat. I can't stand myself, I just keep eating, knowing what each and single of these consumables are doing to my body. I actually successfully shed 3.5kgs before the Chinese New Year, through a diet that stuck strictly to veg and fruits. And my weight was back to its former glory after all the steamboats and cashew sugees. YEUK. it is scary I know.
This is really sinful. Lack of self-control and discipline is an abomination to the Lord. I think I need to fast on vegetables and fruits again. I really need to.
Otherwise I would be really dependent on food when I do projects. haha. According to what I learnt in psychology, this can be a case of classical conditioning whereby:

Neutral Stimulus: Project or assignment to be done

Stimulus to be conditioned: Food

Response: Do assignment

Hence, after much repetition of eating while doing work, my body and mind has been conditioned to only do work when I have food in my mouth.

THIS IS BAD.

Pray pray pray.

Strikeforce Chingay 2005

Strikeforce Chingay 2005<

It was a really fun experience at Orchard today. Screaming and going crazy, simply having fun and letting go.
I really hate to say this, but I think I feel like I'm in a clown suit because the sprayed paint was done all over my costume, looking like neon green print instead of subtle sprays that look garang.
Anyway, it was an enjoyable experience serving God in this event. I feel really tired tho. Physically and mentally. Everything was halfway to shutdown mode when the parade ended. I didn't know what I was doing man. Met a friend, didn't know how to react either. Talked gibberish and in a daze I forgot how to use the EZ link card machine. The couple behind was laughing at me. hahaa...
Oh. Before I forget, NO!! You guys haven't missed me in action!!! The real Chingay Parade would be live on tv tomorrow!! Do watch...!!! Strikeforce is the third last item I think..
In any case, we are followed by this bunch of american school babes clad in the stars and stripes costume and then a group that has people dancing around dressed as orhids.

*yawn* My eyelids drooping.
I need to sleep.

Cya!

Under Serious Attack

Under Serious Attack

I find that I can't take this anymore.


this is war
cannot take it anymore (cannot take it anymore)
i'm falling faster and bleeding more
than i have bled before certain death (the pain will cause a purpose)
lingers on the other hand (and if you feel defeated)
but i will fight you
and victory will be mine in the end

circumstances mean nothing
when it's over
we will be
heroes constantly
pushing forward without any fear

if i erased the line between
forgotten names and memories
i'd never change

resolution made in vain
to face (to play out) the day
life is yours to save (save it)
or take (take it) away

- Emery - Under Serious Attack

Just take away everything. I've never felt so hopeless. Lord I need divine strength.

My closest encounter with Marijuana

My brothers never fail to fascinate me with their stories. Time after time, its always through these gathering that surprises pop out during conversations.

1. My second brother, Michael, never got retained in school before. He went to ITE, collected a total of 15 demerit points within the second week of school (the limit was 21 points for course of two years). The principal said to him, "I want to cane you before you leave." He told him, "I don't allow you to cane me. I'm leaving now." That was the end of his education.

2. He got caught for smoking Marijuana in camp. (He was in combat unit. COOOL!!) Got warned once, and he never touched it again.

3. His campmate gobbled twenty over pieces of roti prata after getting high on the M weed.

4. My eldest brother, David, was detained by the police for 13 hours of interrogation for happening to be at my house void deck at 12am after coming back home from work. some person's dad who was beaten up real bad.. and he and a few friends called the police. Then this drunken police officer came up to David and asked him in Hokkien, "So who is your friend!" David shouted back, "What friend?" The officer in his drunken stupor, snatched the tin of coffee from David's hand and flung it at him, spilling the warm brown liquid all over his shoulder. Enraged, David took a step forward and almost retaliated when the police officer shoved out a police warrant and said, "Come on, hit me if you dare." He withdrawed and there there.. I remember myself (when I was 5?) visiting the Bedok Police HQ to pick him up that morning......

3. My sis-in-law smoked second hand Marijuana in a pub in Italy. The petite lady she was, chowed down eight pieces of pizza, each the size bigger than her face.

Wooh. amazing discovery. All in an evening's conversation over a steamboat dinner.
I love my brothers..
To clear the air, those incidents happened more than 10 years ago.. my brothers are clean people with happy families now.

FYI Smoking Marijuana does not make you hungry. It simply intensifies whatever you feel at the point of smoking it. It can result in excessive drinking that drowns the lungs, overeating or cause one to lapse into a laughing fit or make one cry non stop.